Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 5/31/17

Bacon of the Month (for May '17).

Used in a sentence: "The new(ish) super-bacony blog concept for 2017 continues with the next entry in the series -- here's Bacon of the Month (for May '17)."


As a reminder, all this year, we'll be working through the "outrageous" bacon treats at the first link below (or to follow if you're seeing this on the Facebook).

The slot for May was dedicated to Bacon S'mores -- which, for me, who LOVES himself some s'mores any way possible, was the perfect combination!  And by "perfect combination" I mean that this is definitely something they serve every night in heaven.  *This* is my ambrosia (s'mores-brosia?).

Be sure to come back in late June to see what bacony goodness shows up next month!

THE INSPIRATION FOR THE FIRST 12 BACONS:
http://www.neatorama.com/2015/08/25/12-Outrageous-Bacon-Treats/

THE RECIPE WE USED FOR MAY:
http://dudefoods.com/smores-bacon/



2 0 8 4:M i s s i v e 16

My papers have arrived!

It's the last day of your month in 2017 so I have a small window of time to reach out to you with an update about my life here in 2084, which is the year to which I was transported through the Vitalnet app on my phone.  As I've explained in past communiques, your life is moving along month by month, but only days have passed here since my last message as Ilion (the name I took on to avoid confusion between the Troy that is still in 2017, the Troy that is newly here in 2084 [aka me, Ilion] and the Troy that aged into being here in 2084 [aka t1a7n72.lif]).

In order to leave the Florida Isles, which is all that remains after the rapidly rising sea tide took over the land mass once known as Florida proper that always had been surrounded by water, the InstransiGents that took me in to the refugee camp as instructed to by my SQ, IQ and EQ files that were uploaded to the Vitalnet prior to my traditional "death", procured them for me so that I may travel.

These papers are indeed PCB approved (hopefully you recall all the information I provided about the Population Control Board in my last few notes -- or if you don't recall, you have access to them through my social media accounts from your era), and that means I will be travelling by cocaine cargo barge from these lands now owned by the Chapo-Escobar cartel, as they do control all the remaining dry land in what was once known as the Caribbean and Latin America, including these Florida Isles.

I understand that I will be arriving in Old Orleans, a wild bit of town on the Bay of Mississippi, which has separated East and West America since the New Madrid Quake of 2023 -- brought on by unregulated excessive fracking in the heartland.  Overlaying a map from my time on to a map from this new time, it appears to be in the area where Tuscaloosa, Alabama would have once been.

My friends in the IntransiGents assure me that it is the easiest entry point into East America, and that my papers won't be as scrutinized there by the Covfefe Crew -- an organization of extreme nationalists who have accepted the outsourced task of immigration control in the new Americas.  However, the papers are still essential in order to avoid any attention being drawn to the fact that I am neither six-fingered (as the children birthed in the zoos by the PCB have been genetically engineered to be for greatest efficiency in texting) nor am I in possession of the notifications implant in the spot behind my right ear.

I have no more time, what with the end of month update to the Vitalnet that creates this opportunity almost complete, but I do hope to speak with you on the last day of the month next from the heart of Old Orleans.  Until then, I remain, as I always do, Ilion in 2084 as brought to the future by t1a7n72.lif., communicating with you through the use of Troy in 2017's social media accounts.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Random TNT for Tuesday 5/30/17


TNT ... Chicago 22

1  She envied Gabriella as she slept, what with her adorable tiny scrunched up face and her darling little clenched fists.  2  Her needs were basic ... and were, for the most part, met.  


3  Maria wondered if her daughter's baby brain had any thoughts or troubles at all.  4  Did she use the downtime to ponder why she came into the world ... or who the people were that fawned over her?  5  Did she fantasize about what she'd eat in a month or two when she'd be allowed solid foods?  6  Did she reflect on what she'd seen that day, processing the information and filing it away to be recalled as needed?

7  Or worse -- was baby sleepy time actually the only chance the tiny human had to escape her surroundings?  8  Could it be that she absorbed any of the adult anxiety that was around her all day long?  9  Did she see her mother crying and feel any sense of guilt about the pressures she added to her with her arrival?  10  Did she absorb any of the tension between her mother and her uncle when they discussed how difficult it was to pay the bills when the priorities changed to put her immediate safety, health and welfare above all else -- even if it meant inexplicably jeopardizing the long term?

11  She was most definitely too little to understand that when cash flow was a constant worry, the little bills manage to get paid at the expense of the big dollar items ... because there was never quite enough left over to cover something of that big amount.  12  Rent was the largest line item on her budget, and even though Zar did his best to contribute, in the first few months of this new year, every extra dollar had been going to "baby this" and "baby that".

13  Now she was two months late, the landlord had started using the e-word in the messages he was leaving on her phone.  14  She thought it strange that Mr. Kissinger hadn't tried to catch her in a face to face meeting -- unless she was somehow successfully evading him at every turn.  15  The stress of living in fear that the next knock would be him at the door with papers setting up a timeline that would end with her and hers on the street was starting to wear on her.

16  Complicating matters was the fact that the one year anniversary of her dirtiest little secret was just around the corner -- that time the previous April when she was in a similar financial bind.  17  That time she traded herself for forgiveness of a month's rent.  18  That decision from long ago also weighed heavy on her mind.

19  She envied little three month old Gabriella as she slept ... for she didn't have to make the hard decisions like her mother did.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Random Memorial for Monday 5/29/17

Gone but not forgotten:  another bootleg tape from Reba in the trash can ('cause that's the way this thing works -- I'm every so slowly discarding cassettes for which I also have the CD in the music collection).

This time I'll choose a song from side A ... and we'll save side B for the next slot a fortnight from now ... which means the selection will be from her 1990 album 'Rumor Has It'.  

As I frequently say, there are so many great songs from which to choose -- but I'm going to skip the ones that were released and became classics ('Fancy' or 'You Lie' anyone?) and go with something else instead.  I had narrowed it down to two choices a bit opposite in nature, so I'll provide them both.  If you're feeling sad, take a listen to the first track about sad goodbyes ('You Remember Me') -- and if you're mood is more optimistic in nature, then choose the second and go 'Climb That Mountain High' (bonus points to those of you who then go search for her later hit where she's even stronger and decides 'I'm Gonna Take That Mountain').  

Said another way:  it's reader's Reba choice tonight.

THE FUNNY WAY I SIT THERE WHEN SOMEONE SAYS GOODBYE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZj7gLDYuqk


SEE WHAT'S ON THE OTHER SIDE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxhosWVAsC0

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 5/28/17

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

... just the fact that it's national burger day.

(Although, be careful, this "holiday" is May 28 each year ... but national CHEESEburger day is in mid-September [and don't yell at me -- I don't make the burger rules.]

As to how I'll celebrate, I'm going to finally update my ongoing Burger Quest series, where I'm trying to partake of each of the best burgers in the country (as of the 2013 zagat list [yes, I've been doing this for awhile]).  Stops #11 in Charlotte NC and #12 in Orlando FL actually happened back in October of 2016 ... and stop #13 in San Francisco (Berkeley) occurred in February of 2017.   (Plus consider that I'm actually posting this in June 2018 and back-dating it to May of 2017 and you get a sense of my life [I may fall behind, but I eventually get caught up]). 

By the way -- that's buttermilk fried bacon (yes you read that right) AND homemade bacon mayo ('cause bacon) on that pictured burger from Big Daddy's Burger Bar in Charlotte ...

NOT THAT I NEED ANOTHER LIST OR ANYTHING:
https://www.refinery29.com/2017/05/156073/national-burger-day-cheeseburger-orders-pictures

THIS IS THE LIST I'M WORKING ON (AND NOW JUST OVER HALFWAY THROUGH):
https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/2013/02/18/get-your-buns-to-zagats-top-25-burger-joints/1928829/

THIS IS THE FACEBOOK RECORD OF IT ALL (BUT YOU HAVE TO BE MY FRIEND):
https://www.facebook.com/troy.neidermyer/media_set?set=a.4477027784149.1073741830.1843633569&type=3

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Random Soapbox for Saturday 5/27/17

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... how happy was I that Margaret Colin joined VEEP in season 6?

The answer:  very very very happy. 

I came to love her as John Goodman's wife in 'Now and Again' ... (and by John Goodman, I mean Eric Close, as fans of *that* show will understand) ... but I'll take her anywhere that I can get to see her present her usual classic classy brassy confidence on the screen, small or large.  She holds a deserved spot in the pantheon of go-to-strong-women ... and she will instantly improve a show when she walks on set and guarantee a smile of mine when it airs.

I can only hope that the seventh and final season (delayed a bit as Julia Louis-Dreyfus deals with her cancer diagnosis [and well wishes are sent to *her* for a speedy recovery]) somehow finds a way to keep her in the mix on one of the funniest comedies of the modern era (even if the current administration is giving its fictional one a run for the absurdity money). 

More Margaret please!

WHAT SHE LOVES:
https://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2017/06/23/realestate/what-i-love-margaret-colin/s/25WHATILOVE-MARGARETCOLLI-slide-PZMI.html

THE SHOW WHERE I "MET" MARGARET:
https://variety.com/2000/tv/news/breakout-faces-from-the-99-00-season-margaret-colin-1117782692/

NOTE TO SELF ... ADD TO WISH LIST PLEASE:
https://www.amazon.com/Now-Again-DVD-Eric-Close/dp/B00J2T1856

Friday, May 26, 2017

Random Flashback for Friday 5/26/17

Tonight's theme for the 37th batch of photos of my father's that I inherited when he passed is "puppy polaroids through the seasons" (because there were SO many pics of critters [mostly puppies] in that collection that I've been alternating every other one of these types of posts to get through them all).  As I said the last time this little white ball of fur was featured, I'm all but certain that each one is of Fluffy, the protective dog I associated with visits to my grandparents in my youth.  But that being said, it doesn't always look like exactly the same dog in each picture.

#181:  Fluffy (?) in spring/summer on an end-table in my grandparents' driveway in front of the flower bed
#182:  Fluffy (?) next to a big pumpkin on my grandparents' enclosed front porch
#183:  blurry fuzzy puppy Fluffy (?) in front of a christmas tree
#184:  older Fluffy (?) in front of a different brighter christmas tree with my dad's writing of the word "puppy" on it
#185:  groomed Fluffy (?) on hood of a car in snowy winter with Dec 1979 written on back




Thursday, May 25, 2017

Random Taste for Thursday 5/25/17

And so it continues ... a brand new set of tastes for 2017 ...
 here's the TWENTIETH of FIFTY tastes of FLORIDA 
(coming to you on sequential Thursdays.  All.  Year.  Long.)!

Establishment:  Aruba Beach Cafe
Location:  Lauderdale By The Sea

Website:  http://arubabeachcafe.com/
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/arubabeachcafe/



TroyScore:  41 out of 50 -- aka 82, a B

THE FULL REVIEW (AND ALL THE PHOTOS) CAN BE FOUND HERE:

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 5/24/17

Very slightly ahead.

Used in a sentence:  "I might be missing something ... but how in hell can something be 'very slightly ahead'?"

Disclaimer:  according to my google search, it does seem like 'very slightly' pairs well when it comes to solubility in the world of chemistry, which is a world I haven't visited since Mr. Stuckey's 10th grade class -- and even then, I spent most lessons fighting the urge to pull the 'oh no you are being burned by acid' shower that was purportedly up in the ceiling.

That being said, it just seems to me that something that is characterized as being "slight" -- as in a small amount -- doesn't benefit from being quantified with the word "very". I mean a whole lot of little is still a little, right?  Is there really a distinction between a little bit of little?  Am I missing something here?  Can anyone really decipher whether something is ahead, slightly ahead or very slightly ahead?

These are the things that occupy my brain ...

"VERY SLIGHTLY" AS USED IN CHEMISTRY:
http://www.solubilityofthings.com/very-slightly-soluble-compounds-definition

MY 10th GRADE REGRET IS THAT WE NEVER PULLED THIS CORD:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As5-gY1S8pw

THE BEST OF THE BEST OXYMORONS:
http://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/funny-oxymoron.html

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Random TNT for Tuesday 5/23/17


TNT ... Chicago 21

1  Could he really consider it to be volunteering if he tracked the time he spent at the veterans' support meetings so that he could submit them to count toward his community service hours?  2  That was the type of question he entertained as he waited every week for the event to end.

3  He most certainly was racking up the hours, week by week, showing up early at the church to take the chairs from the storage closet to set them up in the small meeting room, getting the coffee started, putting out the doughnuts or the pastries or the stale cookies ... and then lurking around in the shadows trying to not get all depressed by the war stories -- and especially the *after* war stories that they all shared eventually -- after weeks of prompting from the moderator.  4  Then, as the group dissipated after the gathering, he would assist those who needed help to depart since the space's accessibility features dated back decades to when the ADA was first starting to be enforced.

5  J wasn't on teardown duty -- only set up -- so that meant he could decompress out in the parking lot sharing a cigarette or two with whomever else was dawdling.  6  It was in those moments that he started to form the most basic of relationships with several of the guys.  7  John was one of the first he had met that way.  8  That week weeks ago, John had been having some kind of trouble with his prosthetics, and he had arrived at the meeting with some rickety borrowed wheelchair.   9  It had gotten stuck in a rut in the hallway by the front door, and J was the one who pushed him all the way out to the parking lot.

10  After that, it was all grunts and head nods of acknowledgement for a bit of time, and then, one day, one of them bummed a smoke ... or a light ... and the conversation started.  11  Never too too many words ... and definitely not any sharing of anything personal -- the few times it happened during the meeting were painfully exhausting enough -- but the smallest of small talk was permitted.  12  The weather ... the news ... the sports ... anything that was covered in the first few minutes of the half hour news update was fair game.

13  It had taken a few more post-meeting-parking-lot-cigarettes before they struck up the business relationship side of their acquaintanceship, but, sure enough, in time, J would spend the end of the evening buying John's meds that he had stopped taking so that he could resell them to his friends and other moderately friendly connections he ran into out at the clubs.

14  So maybe the question on his mind should have been could he really consider it to be volunteering if he was submitting the time spent there for community service credit AND using it to launch his side career as a small time drug dealer?


Monday, May 22, 2017

Random Memorial for Monday 5/22/17

Gone but not forgotten:  another set of sneakers.

To be clear, in case you can't tell from any of the photos of me since 1989 that have leaked out to the interwebs, that's another set of Adidas samba classic sneakers.

Some boys collect different types of sneakers and put them on display in fancy closets ... but this boy does not -- he keeps one pair at a time, and he wears them until they start eating his socks, and then he discards them after he's procured the replacement set.  And that's actually a newer development, because up until 2001, he put the "broken" pair in a box of other shoes-once-worn as if there'd one day be a Troy N shoe museum.  (That box got left behind in the house in Harrisburg during the big move to Chicago, so unless the preacher next door who bought that place saved them, they've been lost to posterity [and no, that doesn't keep me up at night except only every now and then]).

As for WHY only Adidas samba classics are found on my feet, *that's* a high school secret.  You know if you know ...

I'VE BEEN ROCKING THEM FOR AT LEAST HALF OF THEIR LIFETIME:
http://www.adweek.com/brand-marketing/why-adidass-samba-design-still-kicking-it-after-65-years-167460/

ARE YOU ONE OF THE BOYS WHO IS SNEAKER OBSESSED:
http://www.complex.com/sneakers/2012/07/10-signs-your-sneaker-obsession-is-out-of-control/

WHAT DOES YOUR SNEAKER SAY ABOUT YOU?:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/ahmedaliakbar/what-do-your-sneakers-say-about-you?utm_term=.tej74adgr#.jy0GgJav5


Sunday, May 21, 2017

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 5/21/17

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Everything!

I grew up in a small(ish) town in central PA, where one of my favorite things to do was to read the police log to see what kind of trouble people you knew had recently gotten into.

Down here in the SoFlo, the "police blotter" is STILL one of the best things to read in the local paper, although the names are removed.  And *that* just makes me think of each and every person featured as #Floridaman (and #Floridawoman).

And let me tell you something -- #Floridaman and #Floridawoman have been super super busy in the last fortnight.  I don't know which one is my favorite from this batch -- the man who saw his boyfriend take his wallet out of his pants on a "date" (but where were the pants at the time?) ... the couple caught stealing sweet tea, chicken and watermelon chunks ('cause who doesn't like a picnic) ... or the 18 year old who got slapped -- hard, it says -- for cutting in front of the woman in the Checkers drive-thru. 

At least up until the time *my* story shows up there, it's one of the highlights of my week.

OH FLORIDA MAN ... HOW FUN YOU ARE!:
https://floridaman.com/

SPEAKING OF FUNNY POLICE BLOTTERS:
https://www.ranker.com/list/funny-police-blotters/nathandavidson?var=7&utm_expid=16418821-409.ZHh11RFyTNmO_Mn5KtBY8w.2&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F

A SLIGHTLY MORE SCHOLARLY APPROACH TO POLICE BLOTTERS:
https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2017/12/21/close-readings-police-blotter/

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Random Soapbox for Saturday 5/20/17

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I fear there is a whole generation playing fearlessly and unabashedly with Wubble Bubble thingies that do not have the benefit of having grown up exposed to the cautionary tale known as 'Happy Fun Ball'.

I mean sure, I want kids to have a grand old time entertaining themselves, but when this Wubble company sells something advertised as a "refillable water balloon that seals itself", I have to think that maybe, just maybe, that Wubble company and Wacky Products Inc (a subsidiary of Global Chemical Unlimited) just might be using the same ingredient:  As a reminder, " ... [the] ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space".

If you ARE a Wubble-Bubbler AND you are UNFAMILIAR with the possible side effects for which you should be on the lookout, please do your Happy Fun Ball research.  You're welcome.

I *WANT* TO THINK THEY ARE HARMLESS, BUT I GREW UP WITH HAPPY FUN BALL:
https://wubbleball.com/

APPARENTLY, ONE SHOULD NOT WUBBLE BUBLLE WITH LIQUID NITROGEN:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPwJigWmKY8

IN CASE YOU MISSED (THE ORIGINAL) HAPPY FUN BALL:
http://www.dirtybutton.com/videos/780-happy-fun-ball/

Friday, May 19, 2017

Random Flashback for Friday 5/19/17

When it comes to these photos from twenty years ago in 1997 that were all taken at the PA Renaissance Faire that year, I promised a big finish.

Mind you, there will still be more pics from 1997 to be posted ... but this is the *last* of the ones from the Faire that I've been featuring.

And it doesn't get much bigger of a finish than Jakey and my one and only elephant ride (which, I tell you, would probably not be expected to have happened in central PA of all places). 

I'm guessing (hoping?) that this is no longer a feature at the Faire, what with today's modern sensibility toward these magnificent creatures to understand that they would rather be doing anything *other than* walking around in a small circle over and over again with silly humans on their backs ... but for the time period, it created a special memory.

[Note:  Jakey and I *also* went on our one and only helicopter ride around that same time ... but there were no pics taken of that adventure.]

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Random Taste for Thursday 5/18/17

And so it continues ... a brand new set of tastes for 2017 ...
 here's the NINETEENTH of FIFTY tastes of FLORIDA 
(coming to you on sequential Thursdays.  All.  Year.  Long.)!

Establishment:  Dolce Salato Pizza & Gelato
Location:  Wilton Manors

Website:  http://www.dolce-salato.net/
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/dolcesalatofla/



TroyScore:  46 out of 50 -- aka 92, an A

THE FULL REVIEW (AND ALL THE PHOTOS) CAN BE FOUND HERE:

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 5/17/17

Tumble-weave.

Used in a sentence:  "Now I'm not saying that I live in the ghetto per se ... but I do believe I qualify as living ghetto-adjacent as evidenced by this tumble-weave that blew past me the other day on my walk."

Of course, if I had more Monday slots open in my blog (the day for memorials), I could have posted this on that day and said something along the lines of "hair -- human, horse or otherwise -- that was once on the head of a girl in my 'hood, you will be missed".

Or maybe I could have saved it for Saturday and ranted about how "of all the things thrown out of the car window as litter in this town, 'leftover weave' is the most unexpected".

Or it could be that experiencing all of these feelings about this tumble-weave is actually just a little bit of hair envy on my part.  Just sayin'.

SO THE INTERNET HAS THIS:
https://tenor.com/search/tumble-weave-gifs

AND IT ALSO HAS *THIS*:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNVcSIZyBuE

AND IT EVEN HAS *THIS*!:
http://www.blackenterprise.com/lifestyle/hood-status-10-signs-you-live-in-the-hood/

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Random TNT for Tuesday 5/16/17


TNT ... Chicago 20

1  It had been weeks since his aborted suicide attempt.

2  Weeks of continued confusion about what his future should be ... weeks of tortured torment about what his past had been ... weeks of deep-seated doubt about what his present had to offer him.  3  Weeks, though, had gone by where the ultimate truth was that he still remained alive.

4  The nightmares hadn't stopped -- but they had changed.  5  The cries that haunted his attempts at sleep had morphed from the screams he associated with "over there" to those of a baby -- always a single solitary piercing wail of a newborn that would serve as the reprise repeatedly in any dream he managed to remember.  6  The New Year's Eve baby's cry that he had heard on the edge of the elevated train tracks just before he was going to jump had followed him and had latched on to his psyche and it wouldn't let go.

7  He wasn't taking his medicine regularly any more.  8  He knew he was supposed to keep a steady amount in his body at all times in order to reap the alleged benefits of the SSRIs and other drugs, but he didn't believe enough in their power to fix what was wrong with him to do so.  9  He had been chasing some kind of fix for far too long without results ... he would take a pill for the pain, except it would give him a burst of energy ... so he would need a pill to sleep, except with sleep would come the nightmares ... so he would take a pill to calm the frightening thoughts, except it would even him out to the level where he would feel the pain again and the pattern would start anew.

10  He would go without for as long as he could stand, but then he'd have to give in and start the cycle all over until he could once again muster the will to face the withdrawal.  11  He could tolerate the ups and the downs because he knew they wouldn't last ... but it was the in-betweens that were the most frustrating for him.  12  The fogginess ... the muddledness ... the nothingness of the in-betweens ... that state of being with all feelings suppressed, all secrets hidden, all emotions tamped down and all reason for being unclear -- that was when he was at his most hopeless.  13  The overwhelming silence ... the vast void ... the nothing that crowded out the everything that was usually in his head ...

14  "John -- do you have anything to share with the group?"  15  The moderator pushed back his metal folding chair, scraping it against the hard floor of the meeting room in the church -- a sharp scrape and a subsequent screech that interrupted the speech John had been giving.

16  "John -- anything?"  17  The moderator was clearly waiting in hopes that he might say something.  18  The others in the circle became uncomfortable in the awkward pause that followed.  19  In that silence, John realized that he hadn't been speaking any of his commentary aloud as he had thought.  20  Despite knowing on some level that his summary of his current battle within himself might have helped the other veterans who had gathered that afternoon, in the end, he hadn't been able to vocalize *any* of his thoughts.

21  "Sorry.  22  Not today," he finally replied, as his gaze settled on a spot in the room where he didn't have to make eye contact with anyone.  23  He slowly shook his head a few more times back and forth to signal that nothing would be forthcoming and he stared at the card table with the coffee pot and store bought cookies like it was the only safe space for his secrets.

24  In the distance, he was sure that he heard a baby crying.  25  But then again, for the last weeks, he had always been hearing a baby crying.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Random Memorial for Monday 5/15/17

Gone but not forgotten:  the same bootleg tape I mentioned two weeks ago (two weeks is a relative term considering how I'm playing fast and loose with the post-dating rules on the blog while I get caught up).

The reason this old fashioned cassette is showing up more than once?  Because TWO full length CDs could fit on it .. and it's time to say goodbye to 'Greatest Hits Vol I' (not just because Vol II is on the A side and Vol I is on the B side -- which offends my mild OCDness, but because the CD version of this volume of Greatest Hits is in the music cabinet ... and ALSO, this was just a Greatest Hits, as, at the time it was released, there was no way to know that there would be a few hits collections to come.)

So many great songs from this great album have already been featured on this great blog (especially when adding in the original CapCognition blog that preceded this one), but the benefit of it being a collection of greatest hits means that there are still plenty from which to choose -- for instance, *this* gem where Reba lets everyone know that she's got a deal for them ...

A HEART THAT'S ALMOST LIKE BRAND NEW:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yzg6qMo7jxU

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 5/14/17

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

The giant rats of Pakistan.

And when they are mentioned, it's mostly in comparison about how it could be much worse.  Sure we have our Palmetto bugs (just a fancy word Floridians have for giant cockroaches), and our invasive iguanas (here in town) and eco-system destroying pythons (over in the glades).  Heck, for two years in a row, we've even had an overabundance of bears such that the state decided that a good number of them had to be turned into rugs and such.

But it could be worse.  Much worse.  Like giant-rats-of-Pakistan worse, where the rats come out at night to feast on kids and womenfolk (which makes them giant-misogynistic-rats-of-Pakistan I guess).  Rumor has it that the cat-size rats are weapons of war bred on American military bases and released as part of the war on terrorism ('cause people be paranoid yo!) ... but whatever the reason, locally it's now a war on rats.

So yes, Floridians, it could be worse.  Much much worse.

SO MILITARY RATS I GUESS:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/as-giant-rats-menace-pakistan-conspiracy-theories-swirl/2016/04/05/48332714-f779-11e5-958d-d038dac6e718_story.html?utm_term=.1b6da3e9db1d

SO STARTS THE WAR ON RATS:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2896930/One-Pakistanis-dogged-fight-against-rats.html

SO GIANT RATS ARE REALLY A THING:
http://www.victorpest.com/articles/largest-rodents-in-the-world-sizes-of-common-rodents


Saturday, May 13, 2017

Random Soapbox for Saturday 5/13/17

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... y'all need to curb your granmè, before I do it for you.

As you may know, I work from home.  As you may *not* know, my usual position is right on the end of the lounge section of the L-shaped couch, where I have a clear view of the front driveway in my periphery.

I disclose those details because that explains why it was that I saw your granmè (Creole for grandma, according to the interwebs), BOTH times she stopped on the property on consecutive days.  I watched in shock the first time when she crouched down by the fence and dug around down under her skirt ... but I figured she was having an underwear malfunction and needed to rearrange her thong.  I mean, I get it -- it's hot here in SoFlo, particularly for those who are out walking in it.  It's the reason I've gone commando since moving here except for when I know I'm going to be in mixed company.  As such, I was able to excuse her that first day.

But when she came back on day 2 and squatted down behind the mailbox and the row of privacy plants out front to relive herself, that was when I decided enough was enough.  Hopefully my charging out the door yelling at her in a language she likely didn't understand got the point across that the property was not her private pissoir, as I haven't seen her since.

Be warned, though -- if I see her cop a squat again, I'm going to chase her with a bag of pepper I'm going to toss at her urethra.  Don't test me.  And maybe buy her some Depends.

WORDHIPPO SAYS ...:
https://www.wordhippo.com/what-is/the/haitian-creole-word-for-88ebe8bf78169fcfe6d8a68b040ca600284bacd3.html

DEAR YARD-PEEING GRANDMA ... FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:
https://www.walmart.com/c/kp/adult-diapers

UNLESS MAYBE SHE'S ON TO SOMETHING:
http://www.popularmechanics.com/home/lawn-garden/a27354/urinate-on-lawn/

Friday, May 12, 2017

Random Flashback for Friday 5/12/17

Tonight's theme for the 36th batch of photos of my father's that I inherited when he passed is "late 70's", as all of these photos of color are time stamped toward the end of that decade (and all but the last seemed to have come from the same camera).  Seeing as how I personally ended that decade at all but 8 years old, I'll have to rely on others to fill in any blanks for people and/or locations I don't recognize.

#176:  (my) grandpa Paul doing the gentlemanly thing and holding my grandma Esther's purse outside a church? restaurant? (time stamped Sep 77 on back of photo)
#177:  unknown couple kissing (maybe one of my dad's brothers?) at unknown location with unknown handwriting on back that says "they developed the wrong picture to send" (time stamped May 77 on back of photo)
#178:  cross armed woman not looking at the camera -- handwriting on back says "Jan 1978 Elsie Brisket" (or maybe 
"Musket")
#179:  female choir of some kind singing somewhere with maybe my Aunt Evelyn (my dad's sister) on the end at the right of the front quartet all dressed in yellow (time stamped Mar 79 on back of photo)
#180:  same female choir as before (as per the green outfits and the same choirmaster off to the side) with this handwritten on back:  "[unclear word] competition March 18, 1979 I'm in the 2nd row 3rd from right" ... which I still think is likely my Aunt Evelyn 




Thursday, May 11, 2017

Random Taste for Thursday 5/11/17

And so it continues ... a brand new set of tastes for 2017 ...
 here's the EIGHTEENTH of FIFTY tastes of FLORIDA 
(coming to you on sequential Thursdays.  All.  Year.  Long.)!

Establishment:  The Revenant Coffee and Eatery
Location:  Ft Lauderdale

Website:  
http://revenantcoffee.com/
Facebook:  
https://www.facebook.com/therevenantcoffee/

TroyScore:  43 out of 50 -- aka 86, a B

THE FULL REVIEW (AND ALL THE PHOTOS) CAN BE FOUND HERE:

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 5/10/17

Bug Bounty AF.

Used in a sentence:  "My notes in my phone where I keep track of ideas on things about which I might post simply said 'Bug Bounty AF'."

Mind you, it took me a bit of time to figure out that I wasn't using AF as the kids do nowadays (for young 'uns, it's a qualifier to signify an extreme state of the thing it follows:  i.e.  hungry af, broke af, high af -- which are the first three things that popped into my mind when I thought of today's young 'uns ... and which is proof positive that I am officially old af).  And then it took me another bit of time to not get confused in thinking that the "bug bounty" was a government effort to control the Zika virus in soFlo (similar to the established python bounty program where people get paid by the government to rid the 'glades of the non-native snake that is slowly destroying that unique eco-system)

Instead, that particular capitalized AF stood for Air Force ... and then a quick google search reminded me that I had jotted down a note about the thing known as a Bug Bounty because the Air Force had announced it's biggest Bug Bounty ever.  Then, being the age that I am, I had to do a little more research to learn that Bug Bounties are a thing where "white-hat" hacktivists purposefully attack software programs to find bugs, for which they are a paid a handsome sum (or pretty sum if said hacktivist is female, I presume).

We've come such a long long way from the days of making the computer scroll your name across the screen in an infinite loop -- which may or may not have been the highlight of my early high school computing classes in the late 80's.

BUG BOUNTY AF YO:
https://techcrunch.com/2017/04/26/air-force-launches-bug-bounty-program/

HERE'S TO THE HACKERS!:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/columnist/2014/04/03/hackers-government-cybersecurity-private-and-public-sector/7259729/

IT'S TODAY'S GET RICH QUICK SCHEME FOR THE YOUNG FOLK!:
http://www.newsweek.com/2016/02/12/white-hat-hackers-keep-bug-bounty-421357.html

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Random TNT for Tuesday 5/9/17


TNT ... Chicago 19

1  The trust fund was gone.  2  Well, to be fair, the trust fund actually still existed, but his access to it was gone.  3  That was due to a choice he had made awhile back when he had decided to stand up to his father and to fight for that which he believed -- a different story for a different time.  4  He wasn't planning to recant any time soon, and he knew full well that those big city bills weren't going to pay themselves.  

5  A small part of him secretly hoped that his father would just get on with things and kick the can so that he could inherit what was rightfully his, but a bigger part of him always tamped down that smaller part and put it in its place.  6  He accepted that brutally honest thoughts like those should only get to express themselves in fever dreams, drunken rants and late night confessions to a loved one.

7  None of those occurrences were happening on the beautiful Chicago spring day that Matt set out to meet the guy from the ad that promised some quick cash.  8  Sure his paycheck took care of most of the basics, but he wanted cash for the extras.  9  He was still young enough to enjoy the occasional bar crawl, but his considerable charm could only go so far in getting a free drink here or there.  10  Truth was that it cost money to have as much fun as he wanted to have.

11  He needed cash.  12  The guy in the ad promised cash.  13  Chances were pretty strong that they would be a match -- so long as he wasn't walking into anything too creepy.  14  The guy wanted to meet in a coffee shop, so that was a plus.  15  He wasn't going to lose a kidney in a coffee shop.  16  He wasn't going to be pushed into taking suggestive photos in a coffee shop.  17  He wasn't going to be propositioned in any way other than a business way in a coffee shop.

18  Of course, he knew enough to stay out of the *bathroom* of the coffee shop.  19  All those things -- and more -- could feasibly happen in the *bathroom* of a coffee shop.  20  But not out in the common area.  21  In the common area, one could surely be safe.

22  Such was his thinking that day ... and such was the reason that he used his own bathroom before venturing out for the meeting.  23  As he walked into the coffee shop, he glanced at the patrons, scanning them to find the person with the purple tie.  24  Luke, the guy from the ad, had said that's how he'd find him.  25  From the looks of the folks seated at the tables, he needn't have been that specific.

26  There was only ONE person even wearing a tie in the whole group.  27  And yes, it was purple.  28  And yes, it was Luke.

29  Luke with the purple tie seemed a little stressed and a lot in his own head, but Matt reached out his hand all the same.

30  "Hello ... are you Luke?  31  I'm Matt."  32  He pointed to the tie.  33  "Purple, just like you said."

34  Luke stood up, shook Matt's hand and motioned for him to take a seat, nodding his head vigorously the whole time.

35  :"Purple.  36  Not just any shade of purple.  37  This -- THIS is the color of the acai berry," added Luke excitedly.

38  It didn't take too long for Matt to realize that something bad *could* happen in the common area after all.  39  He could -- and he did -- get pitched to be a part of a pyramid scheme.  40  Right there, out in the open.  41  He should have seen it coming.

Monday, May 8, 2017

Random Memorial for Monday 5/8/17

Gone but not forgotten:  Jack E Leonard.

To be clear, he actually died around this time almost a half century ago back in 1973, but the thing is that I didn't even know he existed ... UNTIL Don Rickles passed away, and references were made to Jack, who was apparently the ORIGINAL insult comic.

Now it IS indeed sad that Mr. Warmth himself has gone forever cold ... but it is also sad that I was so uncultured as to not know of Jack E's existence.  He may not have made it into a Pixar film, but let's give insult credit where insult credit is due.

He who said that he was from Chicago, where "kids play robbers and robbers", now that I know about you, you will be missed.

HEY DON ... JACK E DID IT FIRST:
http://www.nytimes.com/1973/05/11/archives/jack-e-leonard-comedian-dead-master-of-oneline-insult-for-nightclub.html

SOME JACK E HUMOUR:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIRDWcbaKvg

PLUS DON DIED:
http://people.com/movies/don-rickles-dead-comedian-final-tweet-anniversary-tribute-wife-barbara/

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 5/7/17

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

How we just might be sending a local boy to the 2020 Olympics ... for skateboarding ... 'cause that's an Olympic thing now.

Just in case you're not "in the know", all five of the proposed events in the accompanying image WERE approved and WILL be part of the games in Tokyo in a few years.  Some traditionalists are upset that it's a transparent ploy to get the notoriously-over-it-millennials excited about the quadrennial events, but I say "hey -- when you gotta shred, you gotta shred".

Note:  I hope I'm using the word "shred" right.  I am not a skater boi, but I did see the x-games on TV once.  And some of my hometown friends right out of high school started as skaters before graduating to the BMX scene.

Also ... full disclosure:  as someone who should have technically flunked his senior year for skipping too many gym classes (thankfully, Mr. Heilman decided to look the other way and let me go to college in spite of my avoiding my fitness related responsibilities), I pass no judgment as to what should or what shouldn't be pursued in the arena of world competition.

So anyway ... here's hoping that SoFlo-ridian Alessandro Sorgente (see more on him in the link below/to follow) gets to represent on the half pipe, or the full pipe, or the double pipe or whatever percentage of pipe will be skated on in Tokyo ...

LOCAL BOY COULD BE GOING TO TOKYO:
http://www.mypalmbeachpost.com/lifestyles/this-lake-worth-teen-skateboarder-might-compete-2020-olympics/EWI8eFYvw3U0zmFsdbNxdN/

NEW FOR 2020!  COMING SOON TO TOKYO!:
https://tokyo2020.jp/en/news/notice/20160804-01.html

RANDOM OLYMPIC SPORTS:
http://www.cnn.com/2016/08/05/sport/olympics-strangest-events-trnd/index.html

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Random Soapbox for Saturday 5/6/17

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

Mobile phones, by definition, are supposed to be MOBILE.

I am completely OVER folks who decide to linger outside the fence yammering away on their cell phones, stopping and staying still while they yell at the other person on the other end ... or WORSE, pacing back and forth and back and forth on the sidewalk over and over again forcing me to be a part of your conversations when I'm out in the back yard.  Worse than my irritation -- the puppy dogs do NOT like lingerers in the first place and they REALLY do not like loud mouthed ones who don't leave.

I double checked and I am all but positive that there is not a cell phone tower on this property (although that "no man's land" between the back fence and the neighbors is a bit overgrown with a cascading wall of ferns and a bougainvillea on steroids ... so ... who knows) and I get that you may see a fence and not understand that other people (and animals) might be on the other side ... but please, so I don't have to go buy a cell phone signal jammer on the dark web, stay mobile when you're on your mobile device outside ye (new) olde homestead and ...

KEEP IT MOVING!

DO AS EMILY POST SAYS YOU SHOULD:
http://emilypost.com/advice/top-ten-cell-phone-manners/

THE CELL PHONE NO-NO LIST:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/25/cell-phone-manners_n_4761565.html

YOU'RE ON NOTICE -- I WILL JAM YOU FOOLS IN A MINUTE!:
https://www.thesignaljammer.com/

Friday, May 5, 2017

Random Flashback for Friday 5/5/17

Look what's making another appearance?

If you answered "the Renaissance Faire in 1997" (two decades ago), you'd be right, 'cause this is the sixth of seven photos from that day out and about.

If you replied "the giant knight that was at the Renaissance Faire in 1997", you'd also be right, 'cause said metal monstrosity was the focus of the photo the last time we added to this series (although neither picture attempt was successful at capturing the helmet for some reason)..

If you said "little Jakey W who was standing in front of the giant knight that was at the Renaissance Faire in 1997", you'd also also be right, 'cause he and I were the ones taking advantage of everything the Faire had to offer that fall day long long ago.

Be sure to come back for the final photo to be posted "next" time -- promised to be a big BIG finish!

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Random Taste for Thursday 5/4/17

And so it continues ... a brand new set of tastes for 2017 ...
 here's the SEVENTEENTH of FIFTY tastes of FLORIDA 
(coming to you on sequential Thursdays.  All.  Year.  Long.)!

Establishment:  El Guanaco
Location:  Oakland Park

Website:  
http://www.elguanacooaklandpark.com/
Facebook:  
https://www.facebook.com/www.elguanacorest.net/

TroyScore:  43 out of 50 -- aka 86, a B

THE FULL REVIEW (AND ALL THE PHOTOS) CAN BE FOUND HERE:

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 5/3/17

Amish Saffron

Used in a sentence:  "Admittedly, I stopped living Amish-country-adjacent way back in 2001 when we made the big move from central PA to Chicago, so maybe that explains why I didn't know that the latest crop affiliated with that special group of people is something known as Amish Saffron."

Or maybe it's just that I wasn't as much of a "foodie" back then (although, realistically, I stand by my previous statements that I'm actually more of an "eatie" than a "foodie" as traditionally defined) -- seeing as how that special yellow color in the authentic PA Dutch chicken pot pie has always been from saffron.

It turns out that my connecting the dots (or the stems, as it were) is from local coverage of how other places in America are turning to growing saffron as a quick cash crop -- as opposed to the Amish and Mennonites who are hoping that the saffron cultivating will just keep the kids down on the farm in an increasingly modern world.

Note to self:  after this year's experiment with the sunflowers in the garden box, consider a get rich quick saffron scheme for next growing season ...

SAFFRON FARMING IS ALL THE RAGE:
http://www.denverpost.com/2017/03/19/saffron-growers-united-states/

THE AMISH HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR YEARS:
http://www.post-gazette.com/life/food/2014/12/04/Pennsylvania-s-Saffron-Belt/stories/201411130015

WHO KNEW MY HOME STATE HAD A SAFFRON SECRET:
http://www.ediblecommunities.com/eddyawards/vote/2015/9343/yellow-dutch-keepers-pennsylvanias-saffron-secret



Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Random TNT for Tuesday 5/2/17


TNT ... Chicago 18

1  To say that he was nervous would have been an understatement.  2  Understandably so, seeing as how this particular appointment was with the first person who had replied to his ad in the local rag -- an advertisement for which he had had to scrape and scrap just to place.

3  Luke adjusted his tie and tapped the table in the coffee shop, going through a checklist in his head regarding what he planned to say.  4  Tried as he did to focus, just the exercise of thinking about a checklist reminded him of the one he had made on New Year's Eve.

5  The ONLY thing from that list he had successfully crossed off was to stop drinking.  6  Well -- at least when it came to alcohol.  7  He had basically traded one drinking addiction for another -- but at least he had presence of mind when he was on an iced caramel macchiato bender.  8  It was a jittery experience, sure, but his decisions made while overly caffeinated paled in comparison to the ones he made when he was in a constant state of buzz.

9  "The journey of a thousand miles starts with just one step."

10  He repeated that bon mot to himself twice for good measure as he attempted to calm his nerves.

11  "The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time."

12  That one worked as well, although it did make him hungry.  13  Truth be told, his limited funds went toward his pricey coffees at the expense of a regular bite to eat more than not.  14  He made a mental note to retire that motivational mantra until he was firmly back on his feet with funds to spare.

15  "Just put one foot in front of the other ..."

16  What started out as a bit of positivity at first quickly took a turn.

17  "And soon you'll be walking out the door."

18  That refrain made him sad thinking about his wife and kids.  19  True, he was the one who went walking out said door, but he sort of had to after he had that affair with that girl at the pharmacy.  20  And *that* particular memory only served to remind him that getting closure with Maria was also an unfinished item from his list of resolutions.

21  "Your choices brought you to this place ... and your choices will lead you home," he muttered under his breath, unaware that someone was standing at his table -- until that person spoke to interrupt his self-help inner dialogue.

22  "Hello ... are you Luke?  23  I'm Matt ..." he said, as he stretched out his hand.