2 0 8 4:M i s s i v e 31

"If you're looking for a good time -- and I *think* you are -- I can get you where you need to go!"

The elderly man who had emerged from the shadows and suddenly engaged me in conversation on that street in Old Orleans had thrown me for a loop.

I was supposed to just be passing the time waiting for Mattie 3.0 to finish his shift at the sex-porium.  I wasn't supposed to be making eye contact with anyone.  And I sure as hell wasn't supposed to be making anyone suspicious about the fact that I didn't belong in 2084 -- that I had only arrived a few weeks prior via a portal that an app on my cell phone had created and that I was being spirited around by the Intransigents, who were busy planning the Fourth Uprising.

So I said nothing in reply -- except he did not respond in kind.  Instead, he repeated the first words he had uttered to me.

"I can see it in your eyes that you know the difference between Old and New when it comes to the two competing towns of Orleans."

This time, he continued.

"I was there you know."

As impolite as it was for me to not engage, it would have been even more impolite for me to ask him his age.  It didn't stop me, though, from trying to calculate it in my head.  If it was currently 2084 -- and it was -- and if the fracking-induced New Madrid Quake that split America in two and flooded so much of flyover land when the Mississippi River became the Bay of Mississippi, including the original New Orleans, had happened in 2023 -- and it had -- then the geriatric gentleman had to be in his late sixties or early seventies.

"If you want to go, I can get you there.  I know people.  I was there just last week."

That's when it hit me.  This was some kind of a test.  It had to be.  "Old" New Orleans had been under water for decades.

Was he with the PCB -- the Population Control Board -- that was always on the job trying to sniff out illegals?  Or could he be another of the IntransiGents, and no one had provided me with the right response to identify myself as one of the revolutionaries?

I couldn't stay silent any longer -- I *had* to say something in reply.

And I'll share that with you on the last day of the month next since this window of time to communicate with you back in your day when the VitalNet updates is soon closing.  Even now, I can't risk alerting the authorities to my presence, so I will remain Ilion -- the new name I've given myself in 2084 -- communicating with you via Troy-in-2018's social media, having been brought to the future by t1a7n72.lif, my stored EQ, IQ and SQ files from that era.

Until then, take care of each other ... and be wary of those in charge in your time for the havoc I now know they cause in your immediate future is soon upon you.

Random Flashback for Friday 8/31/18

The last time I posted in this series (a fortnight ago), I hinted that there would be a set of pictures from THE social event of the season, where "season" is defined as September of 1998 -- twenty years ago, as we do on every other Friday on the blog -- and where "THE" is in the eye of the beholder.

Upon review, I never promised to call out exactly what that event was ... but suffice it to say that IF you attended, then you already know the goings-on about which I am speaking.

Hint:  *this* was the "after-party" ... and these two well known Lebanon-Countians were there (and they look to be deep in conversation discussing the activities of the day).  Don't worry -- if you weren't lucky enough to get an invite two decades ago, all will be abundantly clear two weeks from today ...

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/29/18

And I'm not gonna let them catch me, no ... not gonna let them catch the midnight spi--der!

Used in a sentence:  "Every night, for the last few nights, I can't help myself but observe this critter and its giant web in the back yard by the 'flower box' and sing a little Allman Brothers classic '... and I'm not gonna let them catch me, no ... not gonna let them catch the midnight spi--der!'"

Because here's the thing -- it only appears after dark, always in the same place, and its whole creation has simply disappeared completely by morning.  Then -- the next night -- it's back repeating the whole cycle.  I have no idea where it goes during the day ...

Or, that is, I *had* no idea where it went during the day until I turned to the interwebs (pun intended) to discover that the Tropical/Garden Orb Weaver is known for its nocturnal activities, and that it likely goes and hides under the foliage during the bright sun of the day (only after it has dismantled all of its work).

This creature does all of its business just a few feet away from the giant Golden Orb Spider (known for its distinctive yellow webbing) that consistently comes to live in the space we call "no man's land" (extra photo below/in the comments if you're seeing this on the Facebook) ... and now I know that we've got ourselves TWO completely different types of beautiful orb spiders taking up temporary residences at ye new olde household.

CAN'T GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD WHEN I SEE IT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCRS4DRmf_w

NOT MY HOUSE ... BUT A GREAT EXAMPLE OF WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH8ccBa1EQo

MEET THE TROPICAL ORB SPIDER!:
http://entnemdept.ufl.edu/creatures/misc/spiders/tropical_orb_weaver.htm

OUR USUAL LATE SUMMER VISITOR ...

Random Memorial for Monday 8/27/18

(Almost) gone but not forgotten:  all this electioneering going on around here.

And by "all", I mean multiple mailers being delivered daily, numerous text messages being sent imploring for me to offer candidate assistance, a single nasty GIF being forwarded via SMS, and endless commercials (mostly negative in nature) on various channels (including, but not limited to, tv and the russian-owned [or is that russian-influenced?] Facebook).

And by "almost", I mean that of course it's going to continue beyond tomorrow's primary all the way up until the main midterm election in November, but it's just going to take on a different tone and tenor (and by "different tone and tenor", I mean get nastier and nastier, obviously).

As promised, though, here are my endorsements for the main race (and for the local bond issue) as you head to the SoFlo polls tomorrow (7am-7pm), unless, of course, you've already early-voted in person or by mail:

For Democratic governor:  I (reluctantly) endorse Gwen Graham, as the best of a lackluster group of candidates (and even though my heart says to vote for Mayor Gillum, my mind says the millions of redneck Floridians in 2018 aren't ready for him). 

For Republican governor (it's a closed primary state, so you can only vote for one or the other):  I endorse Putnam over Trump-polyp DeSantis, because this Trump reality show needs to be cancelled early and not further encouraged.

And, sadly, I also have to endorse saying NO to the bond issue to raise more money for schools -- not because the schools don't need more money (they do), but because the current school board administration completely wasted the opportunity to take action on the LAST bond they got approved by the voters back in 2014 for much needed improvements to school buildings (which, spoiler alert:  a good amount of work STILL hasn't been done, and prices have skyrocketed since the initial bond was approved).  At this time, it is NOT appropriate to throw good money after bad, and the current administration should be run out of the county first.

With that, when it comes to all of the byproduct of this eat-your-own phase of politics known as the primary season, you will not be missed (because there won't be time to with the onslaught of all the byproduct of the eat-each-other phase of politics [which, of course, has actually already begun]). 

VOTE VOTE VOTE in TOMORROW'S FLORIDA PRIMARY ELECTION:
http://www.vote411.org/state_guide?state_id=Florida#.W4SiaM5KjZ4

A RELUCTANT ENDORSEMENT FOR GWEN FOR DEM GOVERNOR:
https://gwengraham.com/

WHY THEY CAN'T GET MORE MONEY TOMORROW:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/education/fl-broward-bond-project-timeline-20160814-story.html

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/26/18

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

... a certain puppy dog who is deserving of recognition on this national dog day.

Or maybe you didn't hear the story of how therapy dog Fergie brought a 19 year old Florida girl out of the coma she had been in for five weeks after a horrific car accident, simply by her presence with her human for eight hours on that day recently when she "woke up".

Fergie isn't the first dog to miraculously rouse a coma'ed human (see additional link below/to follow for an earlier such case) ... and she likely won't be the last.  And let me put it on record now that, should I one day be similarly situated, I fully expect all of you to ensure that I get visited by any and all of the animals in my house.

Here's to Fergie!  (And here's to the long recovery still ahead for her person ...)

FERGIE THE MIRACLE DOG:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/palm-beach/fl-pn-crash-coma-farrah-fox-20180823-story.html

THE UK MIRACLE HAPPENED EARLIER:
https://iheartdogs.com/dog-is-credited-with-miraculously-rousing-his-human-from-a-coma/

HAPPY NATIONAL DOG DAY!:
https://www.nationaldogday.com/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/25/18

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... Florida has a MAJOR primary vote on Tuesday ... and voting is obviously super-important especially in a state that's been known to swing ... and this election will set the stage for how quickly we can deal with the national crisis that is on the horizon ... which is why I'm so disappointed to have walked away from having watched the governor debates recently with an overwhelming feeling of "meh" (as cool kids and kittens have been known to say).

On the Republican side, it's basically a two man race (and that's "man" as is "only men") -- between a Trump-polyp named DeSantis and a more traditional swampy candidate named Putnam (where "traditional" means "owned by the sugar industry" in this state [allegedly]).

With the Democrats, it's a five person race ("person" since they've seen the future and let a woman into the mix), and as much as I wanted to get excited about one or more of them, their respective debate performances left me generally uninspired.  Billionaire King (a young [rich] buck who seems to be all over the Facebook) is simply too green ... and billionaire Greene is also too "Greene" (meaning that, for someone who has two messages -- "I'm the only one who will stand up to Trump" and "anything and everything negative about anyone else who is running" -- he's coning across as just another rich guy who is all about *himself* and whose main focus seems to be money [just a like a certain golden-shower-coiffed politician wreaking havoc nationwide]). 

Billionaire Levine is too urban (being mostly known for his running of things in Miami, where he cultivated a reputation as a city-slicker "fast and dirty" politician (which isn't playing well in a year when there's still a tremendous amount of "fast and dirty politician" fatigue, not to mention the fact that Florida is very much a city mouse/country mouse electorate where the reputation of city-slickers may go before them in a negative way) and (the only non-billionaire) Gillum is too "urban" (yes, the Democrats have a woman AND an African American running -- although if MTV's 'Floribama Shore' has taught us nothing else, it's that there are a tremendous amount of rednecks all throughout Florida who still don't like it when young black kids spring break in the bars with the crackers and who still haven't gotten over Obama's two presidential terms).  Finally, billionaire Graham, (the aforementioned woman!) who was someone I *thought* I might be able to get behind, is horrible at debates (definitely -- NOT allegedly) and is coming across in every opportunity as an inauthentic campaigner.

Or -- in a nutshell -- "meh" (times five).  Is it too much to ask for exciting candidates?!?

[Disclaimer:  despite the overall "meh"ness, I will discharge my democratic duty by voting in the primary -- as should you if you are a Florida resident eligible to vote.  To that end, stop back on Monday night for my official "endorsements".]

ALL EYES WILL BE ON FLORIDA THIS TUESDAY (AND AGAIN IN NOVEMBER):
https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/8/24/17772818/florida-primary-elections-2018-governor-desantis-putnam-graham

ALL ABOUT THE FLORIDA DEMOCRATIC PRIMARIES FOR TUESDAY:
https://ballotpedia.org/Democratic_Party_primaries_in_Florida,_2018

ALL ABOUT THE FLORIDA REPUBLICAN PRIMARIES FOR TUESDAY:
https://ballotpedia.org/Republican_Party_primaries_in_Florida,_2018

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/22/18

Lawn Rage.

Used in a sentence:  "If it's back to school season (and it is -- here in my county of residence, actually since last Wednesday), then it's time for me to focus on controlling my lawn rage."

Lookit -- I've rounded the corner of middle age and I'm rapidly headed toward fifty and the decade of my anticipated series of heart attacks -- so if I want to embrace my grumpy old man status and yell at kids to get off my lawn, then who is anyone to try to keep me from my destiny?

There's a lot I enjoy about being in a corner property -- other than it is on the major walking routes of not one but TWO schools (one elementary and one high) -- and it became pretty obvious pretty quickly after moving in once children of all ages started yelling and screaming and wilding out in the late afternoon.  Thanks to Irma (and I mean that *literally*, as in "I have gratitude toward the hurricane"), the rickety back yard fence that allowed them to poke at the puppies has been replaced by something super-secure ... but the front yard has seemingly always been the place for juvenile delinquency and general jack-douchery.  Most recently -- at the end of last year's school season -- it was the place where the 'hood kids would crouch down behind the bushes and throw things at the cars going by on the busy four lane street next to the property.

I briefly considered turning that corner of the yard into the spot where I would place ALL the dog poop in hopes that that would be a deterrent ... and I also considered building those Vietnam War style holes in the ground with the poisoned spikes at the bottom for people to fall on but I couldn't get any local Vietnamese shops to admit that they might have poisoned spikes for sale in a back room somewhere.  In the end, I decided to combat them in the language that I was sure they would understand -- I stepped out the front door with my cell phone facing them as if I was recording their bad behavior.  Sure enough, they scattered like rats, with only one true psychopath returning to throw rocks at the front door within a few minutes.

But hey -- it's a new back to school season.  Maybe that group of miscreants has grown up -- or moved away -- and maybe it will be easy to keep my lawn rage in check.  Or maybe I'll get shot.  Only time will tell.

Also -- happy back to school season to you and yours from me and mine -- just be sure to GET OFF MY LAWN!

SCIENCE SAYS I'M TURNING A FEW YEARS EARLY:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2604925/GET-OFF-MY-LAWN-Men-officially-turn-grumpy-age-70.html

MOST INTERNET COMMENTS AREN'T TO BE READ BUT THIS ONE IS APPROVED:
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=519849

PEARL JAM KNOWS ABOUT WHAT I AM SPEAKING:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFXCEe3Aos8

Random Memorial for Monday 8/20/18

Gone but not forgotten:  the meatloaf in the trash can.

Oops -- I probably should have capitalized that M ... because it is indeed a cassette in Marvin Aday's *stage name* that's being shown in the trash receptacle in the accompanying photo.  (Also, just in case you've not seen this series before, this example of a now-ancient form of delivering music is only IN the trash can because the CD version is still in the overall music collection ...)

It's the *classic* Marvin/Meatloaf release, of course -- not the *rare* classic that has him in a duet with Cher, but the standard classic operatic 'Bat out of Hell' (... or, seeing as how there were eventually TWO sequels, 'Bat out of Hell [part 1]').  It IS a classic because EVERY song on it is a classic, although seeing as how I typically only choose ONE tune to feature as I say goodbye to releases via this type of post every other week, it's going to have to be the blue-balls-opus I first heard at a party in the basement of a house in Germany during my college semester abroad -- where I was called out for not knowing all the words -- a mistake I most definitely no longer make!

AND NOW I'M PRAYING FOR THE END OF TIME:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmPMMitJDYg

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/19/18

What southern Florida (and my home state of Pennsylvania) is talking about this week:

Klaus, the homeless man who lived behind a gas station near a McDonalds down in Miami ... and who was befriended by a man (and his family) as part of that guy's commitment to teaching his kids about random acts of kindness.

What started out with a simple donated meal ... and then a haircut ... and then a few nights put up in a hotel ... eventually led to a reunion between Klaus, a former German model in the 80's who had been living on the streets for over a dozen years after coming to the area for hip surgery after which he lost his job, and his long lost family of daughters back in Pennsylvania, where he now lives.

See -- it's not all bad news all the time ... and for a bonus happy story about dealing with the homeless crisis, see the summary of the special Pearl Jam concerts that were held this month in the link below/to follow.  May they serve as inspiration for you to see what change you can make in YOUR world.

THE STORY OF KLAUS:
https://wsvn.com/news/special-reports/second-chance-south-florida-family-helps-out-homeless-man/

ANOTHER TAKE ON THE STORY OF KLAUS:
https://www.kindspring.org/story/view.php?op=sg&sid=164177

SPEAKING OF DOING SOMETHING FOR THE HOMELESS POPULATION:
https://consequenceofsound.net/2018/08/pearl-jam-raise-11-million-seattle-homeless/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/18/18

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

[... and remember, one rave a month instead of ranting all the time on Saturdays is good for my heart and soul {and my bacon-grease-filled-heart can use any help it can get} ...]

... take the time now to locate and watch 'Every Brilliant Thing' (which I found on the HBO just recently, despite it apparently being around for years).

If, like me, you have a theatrical past (and I mean that literally, as I "did" theatre all through the 90's), you might enjoy the unique audience-participation theatre-in-the-round presentation. 

OR if, like me, you have had to process all of the emotions surrounding suicides and attempted suicides multiple times in your life, you might find yourself drawn to the story that tells of a list of every "brilliant" thing (that's the British watered down use of the word "brilliant", but we'll accept it) that might make someone enjoy and appreciate their life (with an emphasis on the word "might", because real life and death gets quickly complicated).

Extremely powerful ... exceptionally impactful ... and definitely worthy of a rave ... find it, watch it, rue on it, appreciate it, and maybe understand the long lasting effects of mental illness (for all who are touched by the disease) just a little bit better.

EVERY BRILLIANT THING IS ... WELL ... BRILLIANT:
https://www.hbo.com/documentaries/every-brilliant-thing/every-brilliant-thing

AN OLDER LA TIMES REVIEW:
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/arts/la-et-cm-every-brilliant-thing-review-20170205-story.html

WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT:
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Random Flashback for Friday 8/17/18

If this photo looks familiar, it's probably because you are a regular reader ... and you might be remembering Cherokee's unique markings -- as first seen in this series a fortnight ago. 

Or maybe you're remembering the distinctly Montana landscape seen in the background, what with this being a picture my bio-moms sent me of her family vacation with some of her grandkids in 1998.

Speaking of grandkids -- what's *different* in this particular picture is which of the grandkids is sitting atop Cherokee the horse.  Two weeks ago, it was my sister Holly's daughter Ashlyn ... *this* time, it's her little brother Nicholas.

(Teaser -- this is the last of this set of photos I'll post, because, in two weeks, I'll start sharing shots from THE social event in my hometown of Lebanon PA [from twenty years ago, of course, 'cause that's the way this Friday flashback thing works] ...)

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/15/18

Too old for this ... uber eats thing.

Used in a sentence:  "It has been confirmed that, I am indeed, 'too old for this ... uber eats thing.'"

I know this to be true because a supervisor at a help desk for this company in a country far far away wholeheartedly agreed with me that I WAS too old for this uber eats thing on the *third* call to them tonight whilst trying to arrange for the delivery of the evening meal.

The first call was because my extra special gift card given to me by my employer didn't appear to be applied on the receipt -- and that's when I was told that I must not have applied it appropriately prior to putting things in my shopping cart -- and so I requested that my order be cancelled so that I could start again and do things the right way.

The second call was because although the person who helped me during the first call successfully cancelled my order, the message I was getting whilst I was trying again -- and following the instructions the person who helped me during the first call had given me -- was that "your code has ALREADY been used".  Luckily, for the person who was trying to help me during the second call, an "apply credit now" option suddenly appeared during that second phone call.

The third call was because my attempt at a second order was further stymied because my goal of applying said credit seemed to go unrecognized by the app -- and I insisted on a supervisor when, during the opening salvo in the third call, the help desk employee insisted that my food was in her system showing that it was being delivered 45 minutes before I even ordered it (the supervisor and I figured out the company has a west coast bias and wasn't adjusting for my location on the east coast of the USofA).  Also that supervisor assured me that the receipt I was viewing was only a temporary one and that the final version WOULD reflect an appropriate credit.  I appreciated both of those logical answers -- but I'm not sure I appreciated that, when I said, "I guess I'm just too old for this ...", the supervisor affirmed with quite a few "yeahs".

Which is all the very very long way to say that, after three phone calls and a good 45-60 minutes of my time, I have concluded that this will be my LAST order via this channel, as I am clearly 'too old for this ... uber eats thing.'  (PS ... I have also concluded that, at my advanced age, this will be a new occasional series on this blog ... 'cause I'm bound to find more instances of things for which I am just too old ...)

YES, YOU SHOULD ALMOST ALWAYS ASK FOR A CALL CENTER SUPERVISOR:
https://www.icmi.com/forums/topic59-i-want-to-speak-to-a-supervisor.aspx?page=1

UH-OH ... MAYBE THIS APP THING *ISN'T* THE FUTURE AFTER ALL:
https://www.eater.com/2017/8/29/16214442/restaurant-order-pay-apps-seamless-postmates-uber-eats

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT *SENIOR* APPS ARE FOR ME:
http://seniornet.org/blog/16-helpful-apps-for-seniors/

Random Memorial for Monday 8/13/18

(All but) gone but not forgotten:  the local Safeway.

It is with heavy heart and a great degree of sadness that I have to share the news that the local Safeway store will be closing in approximately two weeks, as its parent company Albertsons has given up its Florida locations to the ubiquitous Publix.

Safeway has been this family's grocery store of choice since it rebranded itself as a Safeway a back in early 2016.  When we moved here in *2014*, we did visit when it was an actual Albertsons, seeing as how we were well familiar with the Jewel brand having arrived here from Chitown.  What sealed the deal for us though, was not the Chicago connection but the fact that this Safeway carried products found in central PA -- from whence me and mine originally came.

Turkey Hill lemonade and tea (and ice cream -- although never the peanut butter/vanilla ice cream we craved) ... Lebanon bologna (from Seltzer's itself and not some Dietz and Watson imitation, as the Winn Dixie has been known to carry) ... Utz potato chips ... and even Gazebo Room dressing ... ALL were available here.  And ALL are likely to not be carried by the replacement store.  (Rumor has it that the location will become an organic Publix store -- especially seeing as how there is already a full blown Publix right across the street ... although speaking of rumor, it ALSO has been said that they are not being that nice to the employees who woke up one day with an employment expiration date of their own.)

As such, we did what we had to do ... we stocked up on $25 worth of authentic Lebanon Bologna and extra bottles of Turkey Hill tea (that's why God made freezers).  If you're wondering, there are already a half dozen bottles of Gazebo Room in the cabinet ... and there will be another trip one last time to "Utz up" the pantry.

The place where we've been walking around the last few weeks trying to process our sorrow, you (and the central PA things to which we had access) will most definitely be missed.

OH SAFEWAY MY SAFEWAY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?:
https://therealdeal.com/miami/2018/06/30/publix-acquires-the-last-3-safeway-supermarkets-in-florida/

THOSE POOR EMPLOYEES AREN'T GETTING MUCH HELP (ALLEGEDLY):
https://www.bizjournals.com/southflorida/news/2018/07/16/oakland-park-grocery-store-to-shutter-lay-off-152.html

THIS WILL SOON TAKE ITS PLACE (ALLEGEDLY):
https://greenwisemarket.com/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/12/18

What southern Florida is talking about:

... the opening of the first local clusterf*ck known as a diverging diamond intersection.

To be fair, though, it only LOOKS to be a clusters of f*cks ... and it actually has been known to reduce crashes by up to 60% in one notable example (found in the links below/to follow).

And what is IT exactly?  It's a NEW way of approaching an intersection with a major highway's entrance and exit ramps where the traffic temporarily crosses over and drives on the opposite side of the road.  I have a feeling that you have to drive through one to really appreciate the reduction in traffic congestion and to understand it beyond the diagram that accompanies this post. 

Which, now that the first one in the SoFlo opens tomorrow down in Miami (NW27th Ave and the Dolphin Expressway, for those who want to be the first to try it out), us traditional folk can actually see what all the fuss is about!  (Warning, drivers may also temporarily speak in a Madonna-style faux-British accident during and after the navigation of the DDI.)

YOU CAN LOOK TO SEE IF YOU HAVE A DDI IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS!:
https://divergingdiamond.com/

SOFLO GETS ITS FIRST DDI!:
https://wsvn.com/news/local/first-diverging-diamond-interchange-opens-monday-in-miami-dade/

DDIs MAY LOOK CONFUSING, BUT THEY APPARENTLY SAVE LIVES!:
http://fortune.com/2016/06/05/diverging-diamond-intersection/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/11/18

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... it strikes me that those who protest those who protest are inherently endorsing the right of those against whom they are protesting to protest ... which then leads to the realization that those who protest those who protest are both simultaneously protesting AND supporting those against whom they are protesting by their very protest.  So those who protest (the second group, not the first) should maybe get up off their knees when they are done and applaud those who are protesting them seeing as how they are basically agreeing with them that they have a *right* to protest -- and then they can all go out and have a beer (in bars in separate parts of town, 'cause ... you know ...) ... and while they are there, they can debate and discuss how racist 'The Star Spangled Banner' is in the first place (at least when it comes to the little known 3rd verse).

... by the way, it also recently struck me that when I say that "I hate those who hate", I'm actually admitting that I hate myself, seeing as how starting out that sentence with "I hate" also categorizes me as someone in the group at the *end* of that sentence (although I would also posit that my hate is better than "their* hate, 'cause ... you know ...)

... by yet another way, the truth is that I've had to deal with this type of circularity/paradoxicity in my life a lot of late.  Like when I came to terms with the fact that I want those suffering from the opioid epidemic to get all the help that they need -- except for whichever one of them stole the CDs out of the car when they were looking for spare change since I hope that they OD on their next drug-adventure.  And how I want all the young latchkey kids in the 'hood to get enrolled in an after-school program that teaches them the life skills they need to improve their station -- except for the ones who hide behind the bushes in the front yard to throw things at cars passing by as I'm going to build one of those Vietnamese traps with the holes in the ground that they would fall into on top of poisoned spikes (as soon as I find an authentic Vietnamese shop that will sell them to me).

Sometimes BOTH things can be true ... sometimes ALL things can be true ... (which maybe means that NOTHING is true) ... and sometimes all this thinking maybe makes my head hurt ...

HERE ARE SOME CLASSIC INSTANCES OF PARADOXICITY:
http://mentalfloss.com/article/59040/10-mind-boggling-paradoxes

A LOT OF NATIONAL ANTHEMS HAVE SOME TROUBLES:
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/14/opinion/star-spangled-anthem-racist.html

MORE LOGICAL FALLACIES:
https://lifehacker.com/spot-the-flaw-in-a-politicians-argument-with-this-guide-1796333209

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 8/8/18

Free-range parenting.

Used in a sentence, "Admittedly, I'm not all up to speed when it comes to the mommy blogs, so it took a recent episode of 'What Would You Do' (better known as 'What Would *New Jersey* Do', seeing as how ABC does not let John Quinones travel but once every other season), to learn about the modern concept of free-range parenting."

Lookit -- to the best of my knowledge, I have no kids running around out there (unless anyone from the early 90's wants to inform me of something -- and if so, I guess they'd no longer be kids in need of any parenting by me or mine), so maybe I have little to no right to comment on what seems to be the pendulum swinging WAY to the opposite side of the "helicopter parenting" that was so prominent in my generation.  And since I'm being super self-aware, it's also true, that when it comes to the puppies and kitties who have brought joy into our homesteads through the years, my style is definitely more the witch in 'Into the Woods' (i.e. "couldn't you stay content ... safe behind walls ... as I ... could not").

I get both sides of the debate -- *kudos* to those who can raise independent children who are able to think for themselves who can ultimately navigate this world informed from their real-life experiences that they've had ... but *concerns* to the fact that knowing that free range chickens lead to happier chickens that are ultimately tastier than locked up chickens might also lead to the logical conclusion that free range children also end up tastier to guys in white vans looking to give away candy ... and so I definitely get that the answer probably lies somewhere in the middle.

So you do you.  But know that if I run into your abandoned child, I'll have to evaluate to see whether your kid can truly handle this all too real world into which you have sent them ...

THAT WHICH WAS THE IMPETUS FOR THIS POST:
https://abcnews.go.com/WhatWouldYouDo/examines-controversial-free-range-parenting-style/story?id=57223293

IS IT STRATEGY FOR RAISING BETTER KIDS ... OR CHILD ABANDONMENT?:
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/04/free-range-parenting/557051/

IN CASE YOU WANT TO EXPLORE THIS PHENOMENON:
http://www.freerangekids.com/faq/

Random Memorial for Monday 8/6/18

Gone but not forgotten:  that which will end the summer of Madge-in-the-trash-can.

(Regular readers might recall that last summer was the summer of Reba-in-the-trash-can ... and Celine-in-the-trash-can was the summer before that [or thereabouts]).

Indeed, this is the last of the cassettes from this particular artist that are being discarded because the CD version of the same is in the master massive music collection ...

As for the tune being chosen to feature to accompany this post, it's the paradoxical song that declares that 'Nothing Really Matters' ... but that "Nothing takes the past away like the future" and that "Nothing makes the darkness go like the light" ... which kind of makes the "the future" and "the light" into things that really matter, no?

SO, IN THE END, SOME STUFF DOES MATTER:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAVx9RKaLPU

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 8/5/18

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

... the overrated status of nearby South Beach in Miami.

And lest anyone sic any cocaine grandparents, gay Jewish mafia members or Venezuelan mobsters on me (I do believe that is who runs or who *has* run that spot over the last few decades), please know that *I* didn't say it was overrated -- *Reader's Digest* did (and yes, that company still exists -- and no, it's still only a digest for a single reader and not a group of readers based on that apostrophe placement) -- although I'm not so sure that I disagree with their characterization of it being a place with "overpriced everything and bum-to-bum beaches".  Well, other than not knowing whether "bum-to-bum" is supposed to mean packed in like sardines OR if it means the beaches were filled with undesirables.

Word's already been out that the area is in trouble -- since me and mine made the move here in early 2014, we've yet to return to that part of the beach after visiting a few times as guests holed up in a timeshare suite at the Hilton ('cause we knew people in the gay Jewish mafia).  Who knows?  Maybe if more people hear about how overrated it is, it can go back to being a place worth visiting once again ...

THE READER'S DIGEST HIT LIST:
https://www.rd.com/advice/travel/worlds-most-overrated-tourists-attractions/

MIAMI'S BEEN OVERRATED BEFORE:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/21/overrated-places_n_4283402.html

FOR CONTRAST, HERE IS ONE *UNDER*RATED PLACE PER US STATE:
https://www.usatoday.com/picture-gallery/travel/experience/america/fifty-states/2018/05/17/most-underrated-travel-spots-in-every-state/35028043/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 8/4/18

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... it's time to dust off ye olde boycott list and add the local bank BB&T to it.

And let me tell you something -- you don't want to be on the bad end of my boycott list (and, conveniently, although the "you" there is most often a business that pisses me off, every now and then I put a person on said list).

Lookit -- it's not the *first* bank to appear on that list (that "honor" goes to Wells Fargo, which I recognized was led by a bunch of criminals long before the rest of the world caught on) ... and it likely won't be the *last*, but it for damn sure is the *latest*.  For background, I am obligated to use it as that is how the monthly rent is paid, and today, after a 30 block walk, I arrived to discover that they have a new policy of keeping the lobby CLOSED on Saturdays in order to be drive-thru only for the few weekend hours they offer their customers.

Did I mention that I WALKED there?  Did I mention that they also had a policy that only people in cars can use their drive-thru?  Luckily for me, an older gentleman had walked up to the drive thru area and was in the process of making what amounted to MY complaint for me.  A flustered manager had already been called to help the window worker, and so I shoe-horned myself in to the situation by taking over the other lane.  (To be completely clear -- there were no cars present throughout this unpleasant experience.)

I'm guessing that this is s sign that the bank is struggling and may soon go under as it can no longer afford basic staffing ... or that it's scared of weekend bank robbers (that's apparently still a part time job for some people down here in the SoFlo) ... or that they happily discriminate against those who run errands on foot ... but their decisions were sufficient enough to get them added to my list.

Mind you -- it's not like I have oodles of money sitting around in need of a home at a bank ... but I am swearing on all that is holy and unholy and moderately holy, when I win the lottery, I'm going to make certain that none of my business dealings are with the BB&T.  Neener-neener-neener ... and take that!

THE 2018 BAD BANK LIST IS OUT!:
https://mic.com/articles/187232/switch-bank-accounts-the-15-worst-banks-for-consumer-complaints-cfpb-database-and-how-to-find-the-best-checking-account-savings-accounts#.NTVEYwnMO

SPEAKING OF BANK DRIVE THRUS:
https://www.nj.com/business/index.ssf/2015/03/the_death_of_the_bank_drive-thru_pneumatic_tubes_dwindling_in_digital_nj.html

SPEAKING OF WELLS FARGO BEING ON THE LIST:
https://capcognition.blogspot.com/2013/06/random-soapbox-for-saturday-6113.html

Random Flashback for Friday 8/3/18

One is named Ashlyn ... and one is named Cherokee.  Also -- one is nine years old in this twenty year old photo (I'm guessing it's the former and not the latter ...)

I know all this because my moms was really good about jotting descriptions on the backs of all the photos of her life out in the wild wild west that she would send me through the mail in cards.  Back in those days (specifically here, it's the summer of 1998), we kind of had a virtual relationship (back before the e-world was prevalent, and when "virtual" meant you sent cards and letters and photos through the postal service because you only ever actually saw each other approximately once a decade).

Based on where these photos all fall in my old fashioned album, I'm presuming it was all part of the same vacation she took with two of her grandkids (the children of one of my sisters) at a place called Browns Lake, Montana -- 'cause, let's face it, this particular picture has Montana written all over it!

JUST ONE MORE ... picnic (August 2018)

JUST ONE MORE ... picnic.

(Blink.)  It's Christmas.  

*That's* my imitation of how quickly this year is flying past ... which is why I'm proposing that we all need to rally around making the most of the last days of summer before they are gone ... just ... like ... that ... by enjoying ourselves (and each other) at a picnic!  As you can probably guess, it's the latest entry in this ongoing concept to embrace incremental change in order to empower folks (or just me) to stay positive and solution-focused in a day and age where problems often seem insurmountable, control often seems out of reach and apathy often seems to be running rampant.

Admittedly, for me and mine here in the SoFlo, it's *always* picnic weather ... but for those of you who might be reading this in less temperate climates, Labor Day (and cooler weather) is literally just around the corner.  As is always the case with these ideas, you should celebrate as you see fit -- just so long as you get out and enjoy nature in the summer weather before it morphs into something more pumpkin spicey, schedule it with whomever you'd like (or go solo if it suits your fancy), be sure to pack a basket of goodies (to eat AND drink!), and have yourself a grand old time at your pic-a-nic that would make Yogi Bear proud!

Over on the Facebook each week I'll be posting pics of the picnics me and mine are having (note:  there WILL be watermelon), and you should feel free to do the same ... because the world needs us all to pause and relax and recharge and refocus on the months to come (warning:  midterms ahead!) ... by enjoying the hell out of just one more ... picnic!