Used in a sentence: "If it's back to school season (and it is -- here in my county of residence, actually since last Wednesday), then it's time for me to focus on controlling my lawn rage."
Lookit -- I've rounded the corner of middle age and I'm rapidly headed toward fifty and the decade of my anticipated series of heart attacks -- so if I want to embrace my grumpy old man status and yell at kids to get off my lawn, then who is anyone to try to keep me from my destiny?
There's a lot I enjoy about being in a corner property -- other than it is on the major walking routes of not one but TWO schools (one elementary and one high) -- and it became pretty obvious pretty quickly after moving in once children of all ages started yelling and screaming and wilding out in the late afternoon. Thanks to Irma (and I mean that *literally*, as in "I have gratitude toward the hurricane"), the rickety back yard fence that allowed them to poke at the puppies has been replaced by something super-secure ... but the front yard has seemingly always been the place for juvenile delinquency and general jack-douchery. Most recently -- at the end of last year's school season -- it was the place where the 'hood kids would crouch down behind the bushes and throw things at the cars going by on the busy four lane street next to the property.
I briefly considered turning that corner of the yard into the spot where I would place ALL the dog poop in hopes that that would be a deterrent ... and I also considered building those Vietnam War style holes in the ground with the poisoned spikes at the bottom for people to fall on but I couldn't get any local Vietnamese shops to admit that they might have poisoned spikes for sale in a back room somewhere. In the end, I decided to combat them in the language that I was sure they would understand -- I stepped out the front door with my cell phone facing them as if I was recording their bad behavior. Sure enough, they scattered like rats, with only one true psychopath returning to throw rocks at the front door within a few minutes.
But hey -- it's a new back to school season. Maybe that group of miscreants has grown up -- or moved away -- and maybe it will be easy to keep my lawn rage in check. Or maybe I'll get shot. Only time will tell.
Also -- happy back to school season to you and yours from me and mine -- just be sure to GET OFF MY LAWN!
SCIENCE SAYS I'M TURNING A FEW YEARS EARLY:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2604925/GET-OFF-MY-LAWN-Men-officially-turn-grumpy-age-70.html
MOST INTERNET COMMENTS AREN'T TO BE READ BUT THIS ONE IS APPROVED:
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=519849
PEARL JAM KNOWS ABOUT WHAT I AM SPEAKING:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFXCEe3Aos8
