Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 9/30/18

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Religious freedom rights ... and rights of way.

Disclaimer:  I am NOT a Jewish scholar, so please take my understanding of what an "eruv" is with a grain of matzo ... but it appears that the Orthodox Jewish God requires Orthodox Jews to stay in their homes on the Sabbath -- UNLESS a God-approved string is installed to expand the boundaries of where and when the Orthodox can walk on that day. 

Note:  I say that without judgment -- it appears that the Orthodox Jewish God has more respect issues than those girls regularly featured on the Jerry Springer show ... but that's between the Orthodox and their God.

The problem is that, locally in Hallandale Beach, installing the full circle of God-string for the eruv would require putting some poles on city property -- and cities who allow religious things on their property for ONE religion have to do it for ANY religion that makes a request, because religious freedom isn't restricted to only *your* religion -- but to *every* religion.

And here we thought baking cakes for gays (or not) was the prickly tricky religious question ...

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN ANOTHER RELIGIOUS FREEDOM CONTROVERSY:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/hallandale/fl-sb-eruv-controversy-hallandale-20180621-story.html

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN MORE RULES AND REGS FOR THE ORTHODOX:
https://www.featureshoot.com/2015/04/a-fascinating-glimpse-at-the-rituals-of-strictly-orthodox-jews-living-in-israel/

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN MATZO:
http://content.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1890268,00.html

2 0 8 4:M i s s i v e 32

"Let me guess.  Another virtual reality sex-porium experience?"

I was being cagey in my reply to the old man who had emerged from the shadows on Bourbon-not-Bourbon Street in Old Orleans -- just as I had been instructed to do by my IntransiGent handlers, and as I had just recently been reminded to do by Mattie 3.0, in order to not blow my cover.  His unsolicited offer to take me to the original New Orleans, which I knew to be under water in what was now the Bay of Mississippi, was unexpected and felt like a potential trap.

Before he answered, he took a drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke up into the darkness of the night just outside the cone of light originating from the balcony above us.  Then he spoke.

"I've always been more a fan of *actual* reality -- in AND out of the bedroom.  These kids nowadays have been so desensitized by the extremes they've fake-experienced that they can't even appreciate what's right in front of them."

It was good to see that grumpy old men, as a distinct species, survived -- and thrived -- well into the future.

He looked me up and down at least three times before he continued.

"Your eyes aren't dead yet.  That's why I made you the offer."

I made a mental note.  In addition to all the other things I already knew that might make me stand out as a time traveler to 2084 -- the missing sixth texting finger that had evolved for the later generations, my lack of Population Control Board papers, my tendency to say the wrong name of the town in which I was now located -- I had to add not having "dead eyes" to the list.

The old man had one last surprise to offer.

"I'm a recruiter," he said quietly, almost under his breath, "and I see something in you".

I found that to be the most intriguing thing I had heard from him,  but I was too fearful to take him up on any offer.

Of course, I'll have to tell you more in the next missive, as the size of the file I can send during this monthly Vitalnet update that allows me to communicate with you this way is limited.  I have to continue to stay under the radar, so no one discovers that I am Ilion, the name I took on when I arrived in 2084, using Troy-in-2018's social media account to communicate with you.  Just know that there will indeed be more to share.

Random Posting for Penn State 9/29/18

Here are 9 Nittany Nuggets from today's [yesterday's] football game:

1.)  Yet another night game ... so yet another post about the game that actually goes up on the blog the day after, 'cause too old ... too late at night ... etc. etc.

2.)  This game was *almost* seen at the FTL bar that broadcasts all the PA sports, except that arriving 45 minutes early wasn't early enough to secure a seat.

3.)  So we found the next best thing -- a sports bar on the Drive in Wilton Manors, and we talked them into putting it on one of their TVs instead.

4.)  Did I mention it was a "friendly" bar?  Our white-out-shirts got us photographed for guys who wanted to send a pic to their sisters who were Penn State fans ... 

5.)  And one overzealous (or maybe over-served) customer got his pic taken by the Penn State flag ... which he then accidentally ripped down ... which the workers promptly rehung.

6.)  See what I did there?  I'm at the sixth nugget and I've yet to reference that heartbreaking score.

7.)  Although I will say that you would think a #4 team would be able to beat an opponent by more than just a single point at what was practically the end of the game.

8.)  Normally by this point I'd be making fun of the announcerpeople -- but the game we watched in the friendly sports bar was playing music and so the best we could settle for was some closed-captioning.

9.)  I don't care what anyone else says.  *My* player of the week is going to *have* to be Juwan JOHNSON for that one handed catch that put us all in such a good mood for the majority of (just not the end of) the game.

In closing, thanks to the record breaking 110,889 in attendance (it would have been 110,891 except for how the two of us were in our friendly sports bar on the drive) ... and here's to a week of rest (our blessed bye week) to put this behind us as we face the remainder of our season -- and to let me go watch the release of 'Venon' next week instead.

I SUPPORT ANY EXPANSION PLANS YOU MAY HAVE (OR NEED TO HAVE):

http://www.parrotlounge.com/

*MY* PLAYER OF THE WEEK:

https://sports.yahoo.com/penn-states-juwan-johnson-makes-incredible-odell-beckham-like-catch-001724710.html

RATINGS *AND* ATTENDANCE RECORDS, OH MY:

https://247sports.com/college/penn-state/Article/Penn-State-Ohio-State-most-watched-college-football-game-2018-Beaver-Stadium-attendance-record-122718217/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 9/29/18

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... 7-11, you ... have ... FAILED me.

The rules are pretty simple.  If I'm a good boy and sit very still whilst getting a haircut -- and let's face it, I almost *always* do -- then I get to go afterwards to a 7-11 and get myself a half Coke/half cherry slurpee as a reward.

Simple ... until my experience last Saturday morning when I walked into the neighborhood 7-11 on 16th and NE 4th Ave to find the red light blinking to warn me that I could not use that flavor at that time.  I drove down to the 7-11 on Federal by the Fresh Market, where the same blinking red light greeted me.  I drove up Federal to the 7-11 near the new Best Buy -- and it was the same situation.  As it was at the 7-11 on 26th in Wilton Manors.  And the 7-11 on Oakland Park and NE 6th Ave.  And the 7-11 at Oakland Park and Andrews.

By that time, I only knew of one more choice -- the 7-11 up Andrews by the Dollar Store -- and, sadly, that machine was blinking red as well.  I'm not normally one to be broken, but seven 7-11s in, with none of them prepared to give me the Coke side of my slurpee (at most places, most other flavors were ready), and so I caved.  I ended up with a horrible tasting fish-flavored Pepsi one instead (signs said something about dolphins, so I'm guessing that was the added ingredient [unless that sign was about the local farm football team that used to play competitively {wink-wink, nudge-nudge} in the NFL]).

My best guess is that there had to have been a Coke shortage in town ... but I was also left wondering why there are so many 7-11s in such a small place.  I *will* one day be able to put this behind me and get over it ... but today is not yet that day.  The ONLY positive part of the experience was that the last seventh 7-11 was on methhead row, so my horrible tasting slurpee only cost $1.00 (instead of the $2.00 other places were charging).

WHAT DO YOU KNOW -- I ONLY WENT TO 7 OUT OF 23:
https://www.7-eleven.com/locations/fl/fort-lauderdale

YOU CAN'T MAKE THE TOP TWO IF YOU CAN'T MAKE THE TOP TWO:
https://spoonuniversity.com/lifestyle/best-7-eleven-slurpee-flavors-ranked

TURNS OUT THE COLA WARS ARE ALL UP IN THE SLURPEE BUSINESS TOO:
https://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/09/business/cola-wars-take-cold-slushy-turn-pepsi-becomes-latest-addition-7-eleven-slurpee.html

Random Flashback for Friday 9/22/18

By now, you likely know how this works -- every other Friday, I look back twenty years to tell the story of what was happening in my life back then.  It's a tale told with two decades worth of reflection ... and it's a tale that changed drastically in September of 1998.

If you are a regular reader, then you saw my post from last Saturday, where I raved about my now twenty year relationship with the man who would become my husband (after the Supremes allowed it, of course).  So it only naturally follows that memories from late September of 1998 would be about the night I met him, which in turn explains this stock photo from the Harrisburg area Karns that accompanies this post.

As *most* of the story goes (I'll exclude anything too too salacious ... for those parts, you'll have to wait for the full autobiography and/or get us drunk enough to start sharing details), I had wrapped a weeknight murder mystery event in Annville -- not one of the fully cast ones, but a special gig on the side where I coordinated a party with a company's own employees as participants -- and I let my car decide when I got to the light at 934 and 422 which way it would turn.  If it turned left that night, I'd head back east to my home ... and if right, I'd head into Harrisburg to pay a visit to the "alternative" bars with which I had become familiar.

The car turned right.  I had a few drinks ... and in the "closer" bar, Chris caught my eye -- not once, but twice, as he was doing the rounds of the same few establishments in town, and as he had left and came back.  I bought him a beer -- and interrupted him to save him from a conversation with a person I had previously met under the same scenario.  Chris lived in town and invited me back to his house to "cableTV and chill" (it was the late 90's after all, and Netflix wasn't around then).  Which finally gets me to the reason for this photo of "PA's best meat department" ... the next morning, he made breakfast -- and it included pepper bacon he had bought at Karns.

I waited three days to call him ('cause 'The Rules' were a thing back then), and within the week, I was cutting short a trip to western PA in order to get some more quality time with him.  I would never have guessed that one night would become 20 years ... but I'm sure those of you who know me well know that "bacon the morning after" certainly helped our relationship start off on the right foot.

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 9/26/18

The Waffle House Index.

Used in a sentence:  "Even Snopes agrees that, when it comes to FEMA assessing hurricane damage, the Waffle House index is kind of a real thing."

Last weekend we risked life and limb to eat at one (they also apparently have a high incident rate of crime) ... and although we survived, I did joke about how we were pretty much gangsters for choosing it for our Sunday brunch here in the SoFlo.

As such, and because I strive to be balanced-er and fair-er than Fox news, I thought it would be appropriate to also give the company some love by promoting something positive they do for the community.  Plus with Hurricane Florence freshly in everyones' memories, it seemed timely to share how the company helps when it comes to figuring out how bad the damage really is post-storm.  If it's fully open, things are pretty good and it's code green.  If it's open BUT serving a limited menu, then folks are trying to do what they can with what they got and it's code yellow.  If it's closed, then it is full on code red people -- 'cause if no one can eat at the Waffle House, then everyone should still be sheltering in place.

I'm guessing that if you don't live near a Waffle House, then you probably aren't typically in a hurricane zone.  Although, what with climate change, Waffle House might just want to think about expanding northward into Yankeeland in order to continue to be of maximum service.

THE ECONOMIST SAYS IT'S A THING:
https://www.economist.com/the-economist-explains/2018/09/14/what-is-the-waffle-house-index

IT WAS JUST USED IN FLORENCE:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/nation-now/2018/09/13/hurricane-florence-waffle-house-index-fema/1287881002/

EVEN SNOPES SAYS IT'S KIND OF TRUE:
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/fema-waffle-house-index/

Random Memorial for Monday 9/24/18

Gone but not forgotten:  Chuck McCann.

Actually, he's been gone now for a few months, seeing as how this prolific voice actor actually passed back in April of this year.  But hey -- I only found out about it when I watched the in-memoriam section of the Emmys the other night -- and by Emmys, I mean the Creative Arts Technical Emmys and not the main Emmys, because voice actors apparently don't make the main Emmys dead roll call cut.

Mind you, Chuck's *name* didn't necessarily stick out at me when it flashed up on the screen -- but the clip that accompanied his name sure did.  In other words, he who first voiced the cuckoo bird that went "cuckoo for cocoa puffs" ... you will be missed.

RIP CHUCK MCCANN:
https://wnyt.com/news/chuck-mccann-actor-comedian-cocoa-puffs/4858648/

CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS ... CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Irs6ugm6isw

SADLY, HE DIDN'T MAKE THE DEAD VOICE ACTOR LIST (YET):
https://www.imdb.com/list/ls058568738/

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 9/23/18

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

The Jason Flatt Act.

Not familiar with it?  Maybe your state isn't in blue as seen in the accompanying image ... which means they haven't endorsed it there yet ... which means it may not be mandatory for teachers to have to "complete two hours of youth suicide awareness and prevention training each year."

The Jason Foundation is the one leading the charge, created by a father and named after the 16 year old son he lost to suicide.  Mind you, I know that teachers are called on to do more and more in the classroom in modern times, but here in Broward County, statistics show a higher rate of suicide attempts than elsewhere in Florida (more than 1 out of 10 -- and a quarter of those identify as LGBTQ), so *something* has to be done.  Since the Act isn't state law in FL, the local solution has been to use some of the foundation's curriculum on top of a special one time training program that many teachers take.  Additionally, a local school went so far as to create a resource for all county public school students:  any of them can text "FL" to 741741 to be connected to a national suicide hotline.

Please join me in helping to spread the word about the mission of the Jason Foundation far and wide in whatever way you can.  The student whose life you just might save will surely thank you later.  Let's turn that map completely blue!

SOURCE FOR THE INFORMATION FOUND ABOVE:
http://lmgfl.com/suicide-on-the-rise/

HOW CAN HIGH SCHOOL STAFF BE OF HELP, A SCIENTIFIC STUDY:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4813810/

LEARN ABOUT THE JASON FLATT ACT FROM THE JASON FOUNDATION HERE:
http://jasonfoundation.com/about-us/jason-flatt-act/

Random Soapbox for Saturday 9/22/18

I don't mean to go off on a rave here, but ...

... there's a milestone to celebrate (and I'm committing to rave once a month instead of always ranting, as per doctor's orders).

Lookit -- except for a few memorable incidents that will make interesting stories on other days in other posts, I am a man of my word.

So if I said, "I'll put in on Facebook when we make 20 years", and then, on Sep 22, 2018, we indeed have been together for all of 240 months (we celebrated month-aversaries for quite awhile in the beginning of the relationship, so that counting mechanism stuck), well then I best make it official on the Facebook.

Note -- we celebrate the day we met instead of our wedding day (in December 2015), because it took a hell of a long time for the Supremes to make it possible to even get married in the state where we were living at the time.

Also note -- this information was previously on a "need to know" basis, so some of you may be hearing this for the first time, or may have known but didn't want to bring it up, or you knew because you came to visit us in any of our households over the years, or you found out because you saw when a co-worker or a family member of a new friend made a comment on the Facebook that inadvertently and nonmaliciously outed the relationship before my target date.

Also also note -- I made decisions about who knew what when based on my evaluation as to whether you could "handle" the news, so don't take it personally if you're only finding out now.  And keep in mind -- we still live in a world where my sharing this news publicly can mean that I could get legally get fired ... or lose a lease ... or not be able to buy cake ... so there are potential consequences of various degrees to this decision.

Final note -- this post is about celebrating my 20th anniversary with Chris L.  We can discuss labels and obligations and the community and everything I've learned on a personal level later.

Instead -- tonight I say to Chris (and to all the internet via that thing that is the Facebook) -- I love you for who you are and what we've done and where we've been.  I love you for the memories we've made, for the life we've lived and for the families we've raised.  I love you for Harrisburg, and for Chicago, and for Ft Lauderdale and for all the places we've visited together. 

I love you for 20 years past ... and for 20 years to come, should we be that lucky.

And, as promised, NOW it's Facebook official.  (If you're reading it there, you'll find 20 photos from 1998-2018 to catch y'all up.  If you're reading it on the blog, here are just a few.)

Random Posting for Penn State 9/21/18

Here are 9 Nittany Nuggets from today's [yesterday's] football game:

1.)  So many night games ... such a struggle for old men like me to stay up long enough to the end of them ... and such a moral quandary over posting the day after the game but back-dating it on the blog to make it seem like it was the same day -- even though the actual game went past midnight on the east coast, making the today and yesterday distinction even more problematic.
2.)  By the way -- the image accompanying today's post is what I google-found when I searched "Penn State Friday Night Lights" (i.e.  penn state night light).
3.)  So I now need to fact-check myself for when I said "never in my lifetime" has there been a Friday night game, and seeing as how the last one was in 1982, I should explain that I was only 10 years old then -- and that my exposure to any football by that age was just the one night I auditioned for peewee football and wasn't cast in any of the roles.
4.)  That story may also explain how it is I judge a play as pretty darn good -- 'cause I'm watching the guy who *doesn't* have the ball at least 40% of the damn time during a game.
5.)  It may also be why I'm missing the funny rebus style pics that used to be on the sidelines all last year.  Does Ricky RAHNE not like to do those kinds of puzzles?
6.)  Our time in Chicago (from 2001-2014) overlapped with the entirety of Lovie's time with da Bears (2004-2012), although he didn't have his Santa Claus beard back then -- so although I didn't want him to win, it was nice to see him again.
7.)  Hey announcermen -- although I usually "ding" you in this part of the post, I will turn the tables and actually *thank* you for providing me with another way to say how I'm worried about the boys' issues with "dropsies" in that I can instead be concerned over their "sure-handedness".
8.)  Hey announcermen -- in today's day and age, we're trying to control the "creepy" factor, so when you are talking about SANDERS and you say "just look at those legs in white" with a mix of envy and desire, it makes us all feel a certain kind of way.
9.)  I don't care what anyone else says.  *My* player of the week is going to *have* to be that aforementioned man with those legs that look so good in white -- Miles SANDERS.  I want to call him Colonel SANDERS, but I'm afraid someone will make it sound racist instead of just an innocent play on words with his name and then I'll be a creepy one, so I won't try to make that a thing.

In closing, thanks to Shaka TONEY for being on our team, because I giggle every time I hear his name and wonder when I hear it if he is the son of Shaka Zulu ... and here's to what may be the biggest game of the season -- yet another night one -- next week against The Ohio State.  Make the best out of that extra day of rest and recovery, boys!

BLAME THE NFL FOR FRIDAY NIGHT GAMES ('CAUSE THEY TOOK THURSDAY):
https://www.si.com/college-football/2018/08/31/friday-night-schedule-best-games-arizona-ucf-ucla

JUST LOOK AT THOSE LEGS IN WHITE:
http://www.mcall.com/sports/college/psu/mc-spt-penn-state-football-illinois-columm-20180922-story.html

LOOKS LIKE SHAKA'S DAD IS ANTHONY AND *NOT* ZULU:
https://gopsusports.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=1413

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 9/19/18

Lawn Rage II:  Revenge of the Spider

Used in a sentence:  "As a follow up to my back-to-school post about a month ago where I disclosed that I had moved beyond road rage into old man style lawn rage, I am happy to provide this update I'm calling 'Lawn Rage II: Revenge of the Spider'."

If you read that earlier post, you may remember that I was trying to come up with things I could do to keep the neighborhood kids from cutting through my lawn (it's a house on the corner), and from damaging the hedges, and from refraining from using my yard as a base to crouch down behind those hedges to throw things at passing cars.

And if you've read many of my other posts through the years, then you know I have some Doolittle tendencies -- and by that, I don't mean I'm a slacker extraordinaire but that I tend to talk to the animals.  It appears that one of the orb spiders who normally reside in our *back* yard heard my complaints and decided to take things into its own eight hands.  This giant spider with its giant spider web moved in between the tree and the hedges in the *front* yard -- right in what would be the path of any stray school age hooligan.

Over on the Facebook, I'll post a video instead of this static shot where you can get a better sense of its scope and size and scale ... but suffice it to say that I feel more and more confident that it will serve to be an excellent deterrent for any tomfoolery and jackdouchery (insert evil "mwa-ha-ha" laugh here). 

THE ORIGINAL POST:
https://sosaystroy.blogspot.com/2018/08/random-wordplay-for-wednesday-82218.html

LEST YOU THINK OTHERWISE, THE ORB SPIDER IS MOSTLY HARMLESS:
http://entnemdept.ufl.edu/creatures/misc/spiders/tropical_orb_weaver.htm

LEST YOU THINK THAT LAWN RAGE (i.e.  YARD RAGE) ISN'T A THING:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/10/opinion/yard-rage-rand-paul-assault.html

Random Memorial for Monday 9/17/18

Gone but not forgotten:  Liza.  Well, the live version of her.  Or, even more accurately, the version of her artistic output released in 1992 as 'Liza Live (from the Radio City Music Hall)'.

Fear not -- Ms. Minnelli isn't dead (yet).  It's just that this 5th live release of hers is also in the music collection as a CD, so the ancient cassette is being discarded because it is apparently healthy to purge ... (slowly ... one cassette at a time ... on a fortnightly schedule ... 'cause deep down inside I actually don't like to purge).

As for the tune to include with the post -- it's probably not a surprise that it would be a Kander/Ebb song, what with her affinity for their work, but the question is *which* one.  And the answer is -- the passive-aggressive ditty about wanting to know and not wanting to know but really wanting to know when you've been cheated on ... and especially with whom ... featured in 'Sorry I Asked'.  An emotional roller-coaster of a song ... with a big "burn" payoff at the end ... PLUS a natural timeline defying "easter egg" hidden at the end of the song tied to her 'Arrested Development' storyline years later (you know if you know)... what's not to love?

YOU KNOW WHAT MISTER ... BUSTER ... STRANGER?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJJGaUbCsmY

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 9/16/18

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

Learning how to stop the bleed.

Because we live in modern times, it's no longer enough to know that you can save lives with chest compressions to the tune of 'Staying Alive' as you do your CPR ... or how to use an AED when you come across someone collapsed from a heart attack in need of a good paddling ... now, courtesy of our culture's "fondness" for mass shooting events, the latest healthcare empowerment campaign is all about teaching the common folk how to react to stop people with bullet holes in them from bleeding out.

And although those aforementioned events can happen anywhere now (movie theatres, gaming conventions, nightclubs, concerts, etc. etc. etc.), it's also true that schools are the classic location -- and so it is the local schools that are being provided the kits and the training.  Which, although in a way is sad commentary, anything that helps save lives after these things that are all but guaranteed to keep on happening is the right thing to learn.

MODERN LIVING MEANS KNOWING MORE THAN JUST CPR AND AED STUFF:
http://stopthebleedingcoalition.org/

THE LATEST WAY THAT THE PUBLIC CAN "GET INVOLVED":
https://southfloridareporter.com/broward-health-free-stop-the-bleed-event-trains-public-to-help-during-bleeding-emergency/

ANYTHING THAT HELPS ... 'CAUSE THIS EPIDEMIC ISN'T GOING AWAY:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/parkland/florida-school-shooting/fl-florida-school-shooting-bleeding-kits-20180613-story.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 9/15/18

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... I may have finally had my #metoo moment, courtesy of an interaction at a Pembroke Pines Publix this week.

Obligatory disclaimer:  In no way is that which follows intended to diminish the experiences of those who have come forward to share their stories of abuse in order to advance a movement.

Additional note:  My actual #metoo moment probably traces back to an as yet unshared family secret from my time in Schuylkill Haven when I was in elementary school in the 70's ... or my dad's wife of the 80's obsession with me giving her massages in the middle of the night ... or my experience in a creepy repressed cousin's church theatre group when I took an 18 month sabbatical from college in the 90's.  Those are different stories I'm saving for another day ... or for my book deal, should it ever materialize.

Anyways -- there we were in the dairy section, perusing the cheeses, when an employee who was almost a senior citizen but definitely had been in AARP for a number of years sidled up next to us and pointed to the Cabot's Vermont Sharp cheese pictured in the accompanying image.  He announced, almost conspiratorially, that "that one puts lead in MY pencil".  Then, as he walked away, he looked back over his shoulder and added, with a cheery guffaw, "... except I don't have anyone to *write* to"!

My reply was to state that I had no reply ... although I will admit that I did start to feel a little dirty ... and we decided to not buy the cheese.

THE REAL #METOO MOVEMENT:
https://metoomvmt.org/

IT PUTS LEAD IN YOUR PENCIL (WINK-WINK, NUDGE-NUDGE):
https://www.cabotcheese.coop/product/sharp-cheddar-cheese-dairy-bar

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT WHAT NANCY DID AT THIS STORE:
http://www.publix.com/

Random Posting for Penn State 9/15/18

Here are 9 Nittany Nuggets from today's football game:

1.)  Ah yes, the annual Penn State vs Kent State game -- or, as this old man calls it, the game where I curse the announcerpeople and the refs for their enunciation failures when I frequently can't tell about which team they are speaking.  (Note - the accompanying image is a "mouth robot" that someone made to help people to learn how to enunciate.)
2.)  So ... if we hadn't have had to give back those three TDs due to penalties, our score could have been in the 80's!?
3.)  I'm just gonna say -- and you should know I'll mark your hate comments as spam -- but JoePa would never have run the score up quite that high.  Just sayin'!
4.)  That being said, it was nice to get to see Sean CLIFFORD again in action.  Tommy STEVENS best hurry up and heal, lest he be forgotten.
5.)  Although, of course, continued props to the man who will collect ALL the school records by the end of the season -- Trace McSORLEY.
6.)  Here are my main takeaways from the games this year so far -- too many offside penalties, onside kicks are still a bitch-ass move, and we better cure ourselves of our case of the "dropsies" damn quick.
7.)  Hey announcermen -- as much as I flinched at your suggestion that the secret to Kent State's game today was to embrace "no risk it, no biscuit!", I will admit that, by the end of the game, I was considering making it my new mantra in my life.
8.)  Hey announcermen -- when you refer to the player as a "stud with a capital 's'", I think you are probably paying unnecessary homage to the patriarchal society that rewards male sexual prowess at the potential risk of insulting the #metoo generation.
9.)  I don't care what anyone else says.  *My* player of the week is going to *have* to be Ryan BATES -- and I don't necessarily need to know the back story behind the touchdown celebration that he and McSORLEY do (it seems to be a bit of a belly rub followed by a hula-hoop-style hip-shaking pelvic-thrust of a dance move), I'm just glad that they get to have their private moment as often as they do (as that means more points for us) -- but remember, it's all fun and games, until one of you gets pregnant.

In closing, thanks to the "undefeated and uncrowned" 1973 team -- including our only Heisman trophy winner ("only" to date, that is, wink-wink, nudge-nudge) John CAPPELLETTI and Ed O'NEIL (whom I love on 'Modern Family', and whom I will miss when he's killed off this season [unless that designation goes to Stella, as I really suspect]), honored today at half time for their 45th anniversary ... and here's to a FRIDAY NIGHT game next week against Illinois -- at 9pm -- and to me and mine trying to figure out how to stay awake until the end of the game early Saturday morning!

STEVENS BEST HEAL QUICKLY OR IT'LL SOON BE ALL CLIFFORD ALL THE TIME:
https://www.landof10.com/penn-state/penn-state-sean-clifford-quarterback-highly-competitive

THE TRACE McSORLEY AND RYAN BATES TIME WARP DANCE:
https://ftw.usatoday.com/2018/09/penn-state-qb-trace-mcsorley-lineman-belly-rub-celebration-video-nittany-lions

CONGRATS AGAIN TO THE '73 TEAM:
https://www.centredaily.com/sports/college/penn-state-university/psu-football/article42827091.html

BONUS LINK:  HERE'S THE SOURCE FOR THE ACCOMPANYING IMAGE:
https://www.cnet.com/news/horrifying-robot-mouth-teaches-hearing-impaired-how-to-enunciate/

Random Flashback for Friday 9/14/18

As referenced in the last two posts in this series, I am now presenting proof of what anybody who was anybody in my home county of Lebanon PA was doing this month two decades ago.

Namely -- we were all at the Congregational Church of Christ in Lickdale PA attending the wedding of good friends Mr and Mrs Eric and Sheri F.

Since the big day is supposed to be all about the bride (seen here smiling after the ceremony), I won't get into how this particular building, and their specific officiant, figured into MY past, but let me just say that it was a bit of a twist to the long form version of my own tale.

Instead, I'll just use this time to say congratulations to them on this couple's 20th anniversary ... and to try to get points for not posting any pics from the ceremony when they were made to kneel down right in front of the pastor to speak into the microphone at his waist (an unfortunate sight line situation for those in attendance).

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 9/12/18

Jesus Threesome Name.

Used in a sentence:  "What is YOUR Jesus Threesome Name?"

Now before anyone accuses me of blasphemy (again ... that's happened to me on the Facebook a time or two before) OR reports me to the Pope (who might need a new crusade since they've put all the Catholic-child-raping to rest [especially in my former home state of Pennsylvania]), please know that this is apparently a real thing of sorts, as explained on the summer reality show 'The Four', by contestant JeRonelle McGhee.

You see, JeRonelle explained that *his* name was a portmanteau of the three people that were present at his conception -- his dad Ron, his mom Michelle ... and most importantly (as he gets the first spot) ... Jesus.  In my opinion, the interviewer missed a golden opportunity to ask follow-up questions.  For instance -- was Jesus in the closet, peaking through the slots at the union as it happened, like a spouse hell-bent on catching their partner cheating?  Or was he in the corner in a mask, 'Eyes Wide Shut' style, directing the act as it unfolded?

[If you're still reading this and plan to do so through completion, now is your chance to jump ship.  It only gets more inappropriate from here.]  

Or was it maybe like the pig farm where I once worked in my youth (illegally, because I wasn't getting paid, seeing as how it was some kind of character-building experience that my dad's wife in the 80's [he pretty much had a different one for each decade] had arranged for me to do with her on-again off-again ex[ish], a part time pastor [who was at the pig farm when he wasn't preaching hellfire and brimstone on Wednesday nights and twice on Sundays]), in that sometimes someone needed to help during the breeding process by guiding the male part into the female part -- and maybe that someone for Ron and Michelle was Jesus.

Where was I?  Oh right -- my Jesus Threesome Name.  I would be JeRalary (or JeCharary, if you believed the rumors from the chicken plant that the aforementioned wife of the 80's perpetuated throughout my youth to drive a wedge between me and my bio-dad).  Alas, I'll have to settle for Troy Allen (and maybe I'll share the story of how I was named *that* in another post on another day).

I DID NOT MAKE THIS UP:
https://talentrecap.com/the-four-battle-for-stardom/2018/07/23/5-facts-jeronelle-leah-jenea/

SINCE I'M MIXING UP JESUS AND SEX TODAY, HERE'S A PROGRESSIVE TAKE:
http://thesaltcollective.org/why-didnt-jesus-talk-about-sex/

WORDS YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN WERE PORTMANTEAUS:
https://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2016/07/06/portmanteaus/

Random Memorial for Monday 9/10/18

Gone but not forgotten:  the artistic creation of a card game to which this googly-eyed cigar smokin' shell critter once belonged.

As to what happened to the other shell buddies who were also in that card game ... there is just one word to explain why this guy was the sole survivor.  That word is ... cats.

Sure enough, as the rest of the family was dozing off to sleep in the big bed in the master bedroom the other night, there was, from the main room in the house, a somewhat muffled sound of certain destruction.

With morning's light, it was apparent that Huck and Spice, the resident 18 month old kittens, had apparently decided that the shell art purchased on the only trip we had ever made to the beginning of the Keys here in the SoFlo should no longer be a part of the bar, and would look better smashed to pieces on the tile floor.

That which reminded us of family card games of yore, you will be missed (and will hopefully be replaced someday soon).

NOTE:  in lieu of the usual links-in-triplicate that typically accompany these posts, I'll show pics taken one year ago, when we inventoried the house as Irma almost hit.  It may be the only evidence of that which once existed, pre-kitty-fun.

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 9/9/18

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

The fact that the FBI is doing its job.

Meaning, of course, that they finally solved the 13 year old cold case regarding the theft of one pair of Dorothy's ruby red slippers.  Since they were insured at the time of the 2005 heist, they are now apparently going to be owned by the insurance company that paid $800,000 to the former owner for his loss.

(In other good news for fans of ruby red items, the pair formerly on display at the Smithsonian are almost done getting refurbished and will be back in the public view there around mid-October.)

Now the outstanding question is exactly what the FBI will do with all of the time and resources they spent in cracking the case of the stolen slippers -- I'm guessing that maybe, just maybe, they might be marshaled into solving the case of op-ed resistance writer ... to be solved in 2031, if done at the same pace ...

CONGRATULATIONS FBI ON YOUR 13 YEAR EFFORTS:
https://www.today.com/popculture/dorothy-s-ruby-red-slippers-stolen-13-years-ago-have-t136809

YES THEY ARE ON THE LIST -- AS IS ANOTHER ONE FROM OZ:
http://mentalfloss.com/article/77596/10-most-expensive-movie-props-ever-sold

NOW *THIS* IS THE KIND OF MOVIE MEMORABILIA THAT SPEAKS TO ME:
https://www.hollywoodmemorabilia.com/movie/batman-(movies)

Random Posting for Penn State 9/8/18

Here are 9 Nittany Nuggets from today's football game:

1.)  Note:  courtesy of the back-dating feature on the blog, this is actually being posted on the day *after* the game, because old men like me were barely able to stay awake for the end of the game let alone post about it afterward -- so, in a way, these nuggets are from *yesterday's* football game.
2.)  Additional note:  this picture was already put up on the Facebook, when I was bragging about how amazingly delicious those chicken rollatines from Umberto's were that got delivered -- and consumed -- during the game.
3.)  Final note:  the sun does not shine out of the ass of the holder as it appears -- that's just the flash of the cell phone camera reflecting in the television at that indelicate spot.
4.)  So -- where was I?  Oh right -- that game.  I lived in western PA for a bit during college.  And "Pat Narduzzi" sounds like a good old Pittsburgh name -- like someone who should be doing the weather on WPXI channel 11 -- don't you'uns agree?
5.)  Speaking of the weather -- and not that I'm looking for a different outcome -- but I wonder if that would have been a totally different game were it not for the weather and all the penalties.
6.)  Did I hear the Mortal Kombat theme song there played by the marching band?  Instantly recognizable, sure -- but I'm guessing maybe that counts as "classical" music nowadays?  
7.)  Hey announcermen -- did I just hear you try to work in a little Drake lyrics in the most awkwardly old white man way talking about the player "starting from the bottom" but "now he's on top"?
8.)  Hey announcermen -- when you're going to give props to Ricky Rahne for his play calling, maybe don't show him up in the booth digging in his nose, okay?
9.)  I don't care what anyone else says.  *My* player of the week is going to *have* to be Sean CLIFFORD, the backup qb to the regular backup qb (who is still out with an injury) and who made a notable first appearance tonight (the backup qb to the regular backup qb, not the regular backup qb).

In closing, thanks to whomever coined the phrase "wet ball Wednesdays" at Pitt, as I immediately pictured it as an equal-rights alternative to the more traditional wet t-shirt contest ... and here's to next week's noon game with Kent State, which we're hoping will be the 16th in our active streak of wins at home!

IN CASE YOU MISSED THE YOU'UNS REFERENCE:
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/yall-youuns-yinz-youse-how-regional-dialects-are-fixing-standard-english

IN CASE YOU WONDERED ABOUT RICKY RAHNE:
https://247sports.com/college/penn-state/Article/New-Penn-State-offensive-coordinator-Ricky-Rahne-will-keep-going-with-what-works-118794389/

IN CASE YOU WONDERED ABOUT SEAN CLIFFORD:
https://www.centredaily.com/sports/college/penn-state-university/psu-football/article217141765.html

Random Soapbox for Saturday 9/8/18

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... thanks for nothing, animal control.

And a note up front -- for the most part, almost everyone here has a mostly happy ending, lest you fear a different outcome for me and mine ... although clearly there were frustrations along the way, hence this post.

This is the story of Jasper, the pit bull mix who lives a block and half away.  We know Jasper because he's on Casanova's walk, and because he is a bit territorial, waiting for us to approach, after which he goes a bit mental and runs back and forth and back and forth and back and forth in the well worn grooves he's created in the grass in his front yard.  From one corner of the fence to the other, he runs frantically, not stopping his pace and not stopping an aggressive sounding bark the whole time.

We know Jasper's name not because we ever met him beyond the anti-greeting he gives at his fence, but because we've heard his owners yell at him to behave from inside the house when he gets wound up.  We also know that he lives with two other little dogs and a young girl-child, and we know that his people have tried to curb his behavior by placing assorted items in his path -- a giant flowerpot, a folded up bed frame, an outdoor patio chair and, rather inexplicably, a 3x5 foot framed painting (which he hasn't yet burst through ... but I'm expecting it any day).  We conclude that that means that Jasper sometimes escapes ... and that his people KNOW this ... and that they've tried to control that behavior.

Mind you, we also think that Jasper probably needs more exercise ... and probably is just protecting his place as a dog will do ... and probably would benefit from the kind of walks that Casanova gets on the regular, so, unlike others in the 'hood, we haven't been particularly fearful of Jasper.

You probably know where this is heading.  About two weeks ago, whilst walking Casanova, Jasper found a way to circumvent the assorted-furniture-barricade, and he slipped out underneath the fence where the bed frame was, charging across the street at Casanova and I, jumping on Casanova's back. 

Here's the thing -- because I knew Jasper's name, I yelled out, in my best stern parental voice, "Jasper -- NO!  GO HOME!".  And you know what?  He did exactly that -- which saved me from the Jon Bernthal approach to breaking up a dog fight (see link below/to follow).  Well, at least, Jasper crossed the street and started sniffing around his neighbors' yards, no longer concerned with Casanova.  I finished the walk, and inspected Casanova upon getting home.  The scruff of his neck was wet but there were no puncture marks, which was not a surprise since Casanova hadn't made a single noise during the whole encounter.

In the end, it was far from an "attack" ... and maybe was just some "play" that Jasper was sorely needing .. but it still was troubling.  Jasper was now loose in the 'hood, and the part of my brain that was re-wired by my legal education was concerned that there might be side-effects that might show up a few days later with Casanova, and so we decided the best thing to do was to report the incident.  A quick call to the local 411, where we were initially told that a police person would stop by to take a statement, led to a call back that we should call animal control instead.  That's when I started to get a queasy feeling, as, after evaluating Casanova, it was more important to me that a professional was pressed into action to reunite Jasper with his owners than to pursue any other issue.

That phone call led to a conversation with someone in that office who said that they would send me to the "citations" desk ... which set off more alarms that this was taking an unwelcome turn.  Sure -- Jasper had gotten loose and was running around the 'hood, but he had listened to me as soon as I had said his name, and I didn't want this to be escalated into something it wasn't.  There was another red flag, though, as the gentleman who answered advised me that I would likely get a voicemail and that I was to leave my name and number and to rest assured that a response would come in the order in which the messages were received.

Which finally brings me to my issue.  That response came a day and a half later.  At that point, I was certain that I wanted no citation issued ... and I also had given up on anyone official helping to get Jasper back where he belonged.  (NOTE:  future walks proved that Jasper was indeed somehow reunited with his family.)  At that point, my tone was all "thanks for nothing", although the words I actually said were, "thanks for returning my call ... but it is clearly the case that you do not have the necessary resources to be of any assistance."

Or -- in other words -- we're on our own out here folks.  We cannot trust the government to help us.

I.E. ... thanks for nothing.

THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF THE DEPARTMENT IN QUESTION:
http://www.broward.org/Animal/ProgramsServices/Pages/ReportingAnimalIssues.aspx

HEY THERE JASPER'S FOLKS ... JUST A THOUGHT:
https://www.chewy.com/petcentral/health-pet-fitness-8-reasons-your-dog-needs-exercise/

LUCKILY I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO *THIS*:
http://www.pajiba.com/celebrities_are_better_than_you/jon-bernthal-talks-dog-fights-in-esquire-profile-.php

Random Wordplay for Wednesday 9/5/18

Once a wolf, never a lion, now a dolphin.

Used in a sentence:  "After briefly studying the 'science' of sleep chronotypes, I feel that I can confidently declare that I was once a wolf, never a lion, [and am] now a dolphin.'"

Note:  by "briefly studying", I mean that I saw it on the TV or read it in the newspaper, as that's the closest I get to academic pursuits at my advanced age.

Also note:  by implying that I once was one type and now am another, I'm also apparently contradicting said "science" of sleep chronotypes, seeing as how the messaging behind them appears to be KNOW your type, LOVE your type and then ADJUST your day and night's activities TO your type, because what you are is hard wired into your biological sense of being (allegedly and "scientifically").

Final note:  the "science" of the sleep choronotype (and by my continual use of quotes, you might be picking up on the fact that a little skepticism goes a long way with these types of "scientific" categorizations) says that approximately half of you are bears, so don't you try to get too exotic on me and horn in on my more exclusive categories.

TAKE THE QUIZ TO FIND YOUR SLEEP CHRONOTYPE:
https://thepowerofwhenquiz.com/

LOOK AT AN IDEAL SCHEDULE FOR YOUR SLEEP CHRONOTYPE:
https://www.tuck.com/chronotypes/

NOTE THAT EVERY SLEEP CHRONOTYPE STILL IS SUPPOSED TO SLEEP:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolynkylstra/but-first-nap-time?utm_term=.mqA3WqXlE#.vsBPb40Dd

Random Memorial for Monday 9/3/18

Gone but not forgotten:  the cassette version documenting when Meatloaf went back INTO hell for 'Bat out of Hell II' (in the early nineties, for those of you unaware that there was a sequel to his classic release that came along twenty  years later).

Which brings up a point of potential clarification, because this was actually a trilogy, but know now that you won't be seeing a song from 'Bat out of Hell III:  The Monster is Loose' (from the 00's) in two weeks because by the time that was released, I had moved on to CDs exclusively ... and since this series is only for those double entries in the collection where there's a cassette AND a CD, it's the last Meat-release that will be featured.

That being said -- you WILL see a song from *this* release ... and I'm choosing the operatic complaint ditty where Marvin Aday gets hella ANGRY and screams to the gods about how everything is DEFECTIVE ... after which he concludes that 'Life is a Lemon and I want my Money Back'!  Rage on, Meat, rage on!

WHATEVER YOU ARE THINKING OF, JUST KNOW IN ADVANCE IT'S DEFECTIVE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrJ93WJRiaA
 

Random Scandal Sheet for Sunday 9/2/18

What southern Florida is talking about this week:

... that which could become 'Gordon" in the next few days.

Fresh off the memories of last year's visit by Irma, which the SoFlo started watching about this time last year, the current tropical "wave", all but guaranteed to make the Labor Day holiday a washout, could actually become a named event within the next 24 hours.

That being said, we feel pretty confident down here that we needn't batten down too many hatches before the storm starts to affect the area overnight tonight ... but hurricane prognostication is still an imperfect art, so it's definitely time to keep an eye on any upcoming developments.  And it's also time to make sure the liquor cabinet is fully stocked (as well as the stash of tuna and jerky in the cupboard).

Stay alert out there folks!

GORDON MAY SOON BE WITH US:
https://abc13.com/weather/eye-on-the-gulf-gordon-possible-next-week/3548191/

TIME TO CHECK THE LIST:
https://www.stateofflorida.com/articles/hurricane-preparedness-guide.aspx

FROM TROPICAL WAVE TO TROPICAL DEPRESSION TO TROPICAL STORM:
https://pmm.nasa.gov/education/content/what-difference-between-tropical-storm-and-tropical-depression

JUST ONE MORE ... chicken dish (September 2018)

JUST ONE MORE ... chicken dish.

Here's why -- September is National Chicken Month (according to the National Chicken Council, who apparently wants everyone to "taste the possibilities", as per the month's official tagline).  And here's *also* why -- all this year, for obvious reasons, there's been a bit of a homey, escapist feel to this ongoing concept to embrace incremental change in order to empower folks (or just me) to stay positive and solution-focused in a day and age where problems often seem insurmountable, control often seems out of reach and apathy often seems to be running rampant.

When everything else around you seems to be going to hell in a handbasket, it's important to focus on what you *can* control -- like, for instance, choosing what you're going to have for dinner (admittedly not exactly a #resist kind of move, but baby steps, people, baby steps).  Anyway, according to that same council, Americans are consuming poultry in record numbers (110.7 lbs per capita is forecast for 2019 -- the highest since records were kept this way starting in 1965) ... and, besides, was there ever a more versatile main ingredient when it comes to the variety of ways to prepare it?  (And before you "other white meat" people challenge me on that, just know that your month is coming.)    

As for me and why this month's choice speaks to my past, it's a known fact that I come from a chicken family -- my grandma on my dad's side used to chop their heads off, one after another, in the back yard of the family homestead ... and her broasted chicken recipe once found its way into a Neidermyer's restaurant that my uncle Fred ran.  My father managed one of the processing plants in my home county in PA ... and met more than wife -- *one* of whom was my mother -- in the process.  What can I say?  Chicken is in my blood.

So this month, consider celebrating with me (unless, of course, you are a vegetarian, and then maybe you'll have to sit this one out OR modify it to be just one more ... tofu dish), and together we'll forget about all the troubles and lose ourselves in just one more super tasty and extra delicious ... chicken dish!

Random Posting for Penn State 9/1/2018

Here are 9 Nittany Nuggets from today's football game:

1.)  Both of these things are true:  I am too old AND my heart is too full of bacon grease for too many more of these types of games.  Let's maybe put it away a little earlier next time, right boys?
2.)  Not to jinx things -- but that is now a *15* game winning streak at home.
3.)  And not to jinx other things -- but that is now *29* games in a row where McSORLEY has thrown a touchdown pass.
4.)  And not to jinx even more things -- but this week was the first time since 1959 when five BIG10 teams were in the top 20.
5.)  Now I'm not necessarily saying that there's a direct connection, but those bright shoes on the Appalachian State players sure looked like more and more penalty flags every time I looked at the screen.
6.)  Okay Xfinity and the BIG10 network and FOX, I will begrudgingly thank you for finally striking a deal just before this season started to provide that channel to us here in the SoFlo (for a 4.99 per month fee of course for 12 months [after which it jumps up to 9.99 per month]).  Sure, I liked the first few years when it was FREE -- but I understand that Obama isn't in office any more, and so big companies are going to make some Trump moves against us po' folk.
7.)  Hey announcermen -- when you show pictures and talk about all the excitement in "fansville", we know you mean "Paternoville" and that you're just too chickenshit to call it that.
8.)  Hey announcermen -- when you talk about Miles SANDERS and his "nice looking thighs" and how he's "like a 300 pounder below the waist", I have to tell you that it sounds like something Sandusky might have said in the showers. (What?  Too soon??)
9.)  I don't care what anyone else says.  *My* player of the week is going to *have* to be Amani ORUWARIYE, for obvious reasons for finally putting an end to that game!

In closing, thanks to the fine folks at google, seeing as how I had to use them not once ... not twice ... but THRICE during the game (to find out that App State was in NC and not WV as I assumed, to find out where the heck announcerman Millen lived when he said he was from Hockendaqua, PA as he stated, and to make sure that offsite kicks weren't some kind of illegal bitch-ass move as it appeared ... and here's to next week's night game with Pitt (and here's hoping they can put aside their apparent frustration with not getting annual games with us next decade [see link below/to follow for *that* drama]).

DAMN THAT WAS CLOSE:
https://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2018/9/1/17810418/appalachian-state-penn-state-final-score-results-reaction

DAMN THIS SETTLEMENT CAME JUST IN TIME:
https://deadline.com/2018/08/comcast-fox-settle-big-ten-network-carriage-dispute-college-football-1202452085/

DAMN THAT'S SOME DRAMA:
https://www.roarlionsroar.com/penn-state-football/2018/08/4381/pitt-media-meltdown-penn-state-temple-naduzzi

Random Soapbox for Saturday 9/1/18

I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but ...

... it looks like we have another candidate for my boycott list, all courtesy of Brenda at the local Old Navy.

"The shorts are on the $12 rack!", we said, when charged twice that amount at checkout.  "Oh NO!" Brenda replied, as if she was taught somewhere that quality customer service always led with a shouted "NO" at the paying patron.  I proceeded to march over to said rack -- which was in clear view of the counter -- to pluck the sign from its place atop the circular presentation. 

As it turns out, that was apparently a "trigger" for Brenda, who stormed off after me, protesting my dismantling of the display the entire way.  Further attempts to point out that it wasn't the ONLY pair of shorts hanging there were only met with her explanations about how the pair we had chosen were clearly "linen", and that "linen" cargo shorts could never be sold at that discount price, which was reserved for some fabric less than linen.  (She then proceed to grab a half dozen of "linen" items that were on the "non-linen" discount rack in order to re-home them.) 

When further pressed to honor the advertised sale price, she insisted that would be IMPOSSIBLE, and, when informed that a complaint would be filed and that we needed her name, she spun around with a snarl, spittle forming at the corner of her mouth, pulling on her badge and yelling "it's Brenda -- do you want to take a picture?!?" with the kind of hatred normally reserved for family blow-ups over politics on the holidays.

So Brenda -- first of all, your customers shouldn't pay for the incompetence of your employees (again, it wasn't as if a single pair of shorts got "mis-filed", it was a whole swath of them [un?]intentionally placed in the wrong spot).  Second of all, when alerted to the "bait-and-switch" approach to merchandising in your store, your attempt to justify the error by shifting analysis of the pricing paradigm for your products to the customer was severely ill-advised.  Third of all, taking it personally when I attempted to use actual facts (i.e. showing you the sign) to disprove your fake-news attitude of "alternate facts" with regards to what-cost-what at your store would get points if you served in the current administration instead of the local branch of the Old Navy, but was the *opposite* of what should have been your training to de-escalate such interactions.

Which is all the long way to say that you may have "won the battle", but you for sure "lost the war", as I am now called to action to make sure that I inform friends and foes and strangers alike to steer clear of the Old Navy store at the Coral Ridge Mall due to Brenda's disregard for her customers.  You.  Have.  Been.  Boycotted.

DO *NOT* SHOP HERE:
https://www.oldnavy.com/products/fort-lauderdale-fl-store-5588.jsp

MY BOYCOTT LIST IS MORE OF A THING THAN I THOUGHT:
https://www.zendesk.com/resources/what-is-bad-customer-service/

OKAY FT LAUDERDALE OLD NAVY, YOU EARNED YOURSELF A DETRACTOR:
https://www.retently.com/blog/detractors-ruin-business/