Suicides. Suicide prevention. The loss of Kate Spade. And especially the loss of Anthony Bourdain.
Not that it's a competition or anything -- it's just that I had less of a connection to Kate. Anthony, on the other hand, felt like a bigger loss. He had used the power of his celebrity to make you feel like you knew him -- like you had taken him along with you on your travels. For sure, me and mine, when planning a trip, would make a point to see if he had already been there and if a one hour travelogue could then inform our itinerary.
The other power of celebrity is that it gets people talking about subjects in a certain focused way. Suicide rates in the US have been rising since 1999 (except in Nevada, for reasons unclear) but let a celebrity do it, and everybody is going to have an opinion. By the way -- that in and of itself is not necessarily a *bad* thing -- as conversations might help to reduce some of the stigma around suicide specifically ... and mental health in general.
I've lost family ... and friends who may as well have been family ... to suicide. In addition, I've dealt with those who have attempted the act, and those who have threatened to do so as a cry for help. Me personally, I once stood in the basement of our broken home in Lebanon in front of my dad's workshop, looking at all the knives and scissors he brought home to sharpen week to week as a little side business he did at the family stand at Green Dragon, the farmers' market held every Friday a few towns over. I distinctly remember that feeling of not being able to see a viable future ... not being able to understand how to possibly get through the pains of the day ... not being able to imagine a world where you would even be missed. Such sharp blades, right there for the taking ... the slitting ... the plunging ... for the infliction of temporary pain to release the burden of the permanent pain.
Two things saved me -- well, two things in that moment. One -- my dad also had a tabletop vice right there on the workbench, and my emotionally underdeveloped high school mind started to consider whether I could vice myself to death instead. By introducing logic into my thoughts, the moment started to pass. Two -- I had an escape from my world of troubles ... because I was working hard on building a separate space at school that was my safe zone -- to the extent that I would use the time on my walk there each day to shed my problems and to transform into someone that was in control of his life. And I could do that because I was finding my people ... and building a support system of adults who would eventually guide me through my decision to run away from home and to be truly independent.
That story doesn't scratch the surface of everything and everybody that got me out of the 80's and into the 90's ... but I share it tonight to highlight some of the truisms that have been spouted in the last few days. You don't know the things with which people are dealing. You don't know if a well honed coping mechanism might actually be covering some depth of despair. You don't know if someone is counting on you to play a key role in their support system.
So instead of turning it around on the depressed person and telling them to get it together and to reach out for help, recognize that depression causes people to shut down and to resist communication, so it behooves YOU to be the one taking action. The graphic accompanying this image is a great start for how you can arm yourself with specific ways that you might be of help ... because these problems aren't going away in a nation that doesn't yet know how to properly address mental illness.
Connect. Listen. Change someone's life. Do it now. Time may just be of the essence.
THE SUICIDE CRISIS COULD BE THE NEXT OPIOID CRISIS:
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/06/07/617897261/cdc-u-s-suicide-rates-have-climbed-dramatically
WHY EVERYONE IS MAYBE FEELING THIS LOSS A LITTLE MORE:
https://www.vox.com/2018/6/8/17442194/anthony-bourdain-ally-marginalized-voices
WELL *SOME* PEOPLE HAVE IDEAS FOR FIXING THE MENTAL ILLNESS CRISIS:
https://blog.samhsa.gov/2015/02/18/five-point-plan-to-improve-the-nations-mental-health/#.Wx8JfO4vzZ4
